A few nights ago, I had one of those dreams where you didn’t study for the test, but this was a little different.

Two “famous” teachers from my North Olmsted K-12 days (they were those rare breeds who were very tough, but all the same, were universally loved by the students), Mr. Forgosh and Ms. Cornell, were teaching the class that I was in, and asked me to be the first of class to give an off-the-cuff oral report on plants, which was going to count for 95% of our final grades. In this case, I actually knew all the info, but couldn’t decide the best way to start. Also, when giving this report, I was supposed to sit in “the chair,” which was an old electric chair (unplugged, mind you.) I remember being told to get on with it.

“Okay, okay, I’m in the chair…,” I said as I sat down. But then I leaned back a bit too far (maybe expecting it to be attached to the floor), and fell over backwards in it. At which point I said, “…which needs work.”

Laughter followed, even though I thought my comment wasn’t that funny….

Then I had one of those odd moments when, even though you are still in the dream, you are also aware of other things happening around you: I heard my father ask, “Where’s your uncle?” to my nephew, who replied that O was still in bed.

“Go tell your Uncle Matt to get his butt out of bed.”

So I wasn’t surprised by the sudden attack by my 7-year old nephew as he crashed on to my bed. Ah, holidays at the homestead….

Well, as I made my weekly Unemployment Claim this morning, I got a weird glitch that made me wonder if the claim had been properly processed. There was a “Payment History” button, so I clicked on it, expecting to see something like a bank statement.

Instead, it showed me the maximum amount of benefits I was allowed through the program, and then how much I had left. The amount remaining is, in fact, quite smaller than I expected.

See, my time on Unemployment runs from this past July until the upcoming July of 2010; basically a full year. Unfortunately, there is apparently only a certain amount that you are allowed within that time, and according to my budget projections, I will be out of UI by the end of January. My savings will last me another 2-3 months, and then I’m completely broke.

Hence, with that rather sobering thought, I’m casting my job net even wider than before. If anyone who reads this blog (all 2 of you) happens to come across job openings that I could use my various skills of video editing/filming, motion graphics, multimedia design, audio work, etc. let me know. I’ll still be looking into game jobs, but now I really need something to pay the bills.

The trip home to Wisconsin is going to be a bit bittersweet as a result. On one hand, I’ll be able to see the family and relax, as well as save money on food and utilities, but on the other hand, I’ll also be pretty much unable to make any headway in the job hunt until Jan 4th, when everyone is back from the holidays.

Ah, fiddlesticks.

Despite the Browns winning, I have to admit by the end of Sunday, I felt more or less in the “meh” mode. Part of this is because of the results of other games (more on that in a moment), but also because despite the win by the Browns, there were some things that sapped away some of the feel-good:

• Brady Quinn continues to be unimpressive as a passer. The playcalling was run-heavy, true, but his stats were still pretty bland. Barely acceptable, really, when you throw in those 2 interception. Even if the Browns win out the rest of their games, despite Quinn’s ability to effectively manage the offense, he’s going to have to show better accuracy on his passes.
• What is with the defense? Some games they play lights-out, and that here, like back in Detroit, they just give up big plays way too easily. At least this time the last second pass into the end zone was incomplete and didn’t draw a flag.
• Let’s face it: after beating the Steelers for the first time in 12 tries, the rest of the season is a bit anti-climatic.
• Cribbs continued excellence is undermined by the knowledge that the organization may very well be screwing him over by denying to rework his contract again; if a new regime comes in soon, it can decide to put contract negotiations on hold until 2012, and treating Cribbs like that after he has been the good soldier is pretty bad, and will likely start the new regime off on a very bad foot, both with the public as well as in the locker room.
• And speaking of that, I’m worried that the Holgrem deal might turn into yet another disaster if, in fact, Holgrem decides that he not only wants to have control of the personnel decisions, but also get back into coaching and decides to “do it all” by himself. We’ve seen that happen with him in Seattle as well as with Butch Davis in Cleveland, and in both cases it showed that it never worked. After the rush to hire Mangini, I can’t shake the feeling that Lerner has rushed rushed into another hire with Holgrem (assuming he takes the job), with the same results waiting.

Also, as previously mentioned, the rest of the games on Sunday didn’t make me feel all that spiffy:

• The Ravens are now in line for the playoffs, thanks to everyone else that was fighting for a spot losing. The sked the Ravens have also makes it unlikely that they will be displaced unless they lay an egg in the next two games and the other teams in contention win out.
• On the other hand, I have to admit that I was gratified to see that my pre-season prediction of the Bears implosion with Culter pan out. I felt that the media had been making way too big of a deal on Culter’s ability, and he has not failed to disappoint me. Let’s put this in perspective: the Bears were set at QB early on. The Browns were not, even up to the Bye Week. Yet, the Bears only have 2 more wins than the Browns. And maybe it’s not fair to put all of the blame on Cutler, but I just felt that he was being overhyped, and thus far, I’ve been proved right.
• The Packers lost, and the Steelers won, on a ridiculously amazing last second play. The Pack are still comfortably in place for the playoffs, but that was a game they should have won. Especially when you consider that on that last drive, a sack and an interception were nullified by penalties. As for the Steelers, I’d like to see them miss the playoffs, as well. So the hope is that the Steelers win next week to drop the Ravens, then both lose their last game while the Dolphins, Jags, and/or Broncos win out to secure wildcards.
• Speaking of the Broncos, their loss puts them behind the 8 ball, and given that it was against the Raiders — with Russell leading the final drive, no less — this puts them in a tough spot to get a wildcard berth, crowding out any other AFC North teams. Additionally, the Raiders, like the Browns, have been playing better football down the stretch, so this upcoming matchup between the two is honestly too tough to call.
• The Bengals lost, which was sad not just due to their grieving over Chris Henry, but also because this means that they haven’t secured that AFC North crown yet. And with the Ravens just 2 games back (the Bengals have the tie-breaker) if the Bengals don’t win any more games, they can lose the crown to the Ravens. At least Chad got a touchdown to dedicate to Henry.
• On the bright side, the Jets lost, and Sanchez continues to struggle as a first-year QB. These days, I don’t hear anyone bemoaning the fact that the Browns didn’t draft him with the 5th overall pick. Edwards had a great touchdown catch, so he’s probably happy about that, but the question is with just two games left to play, can he do enough to inflate his stock price after his struggles earlier this year?
• Oh, and also, the Vikings lost. Doesn’t make much of a difference as they cliched the division with the Packers lost, but what “worries” a number of people is how lackluster the team played, esp. considering they were facing a back-up QB and the sub .500 Panthers. While I doubt it, here’s hoping that this is the start of a historic collapse with losses down the stretch and then an epic failure in their first playoff game. And, again, this is just because with the way that Childress jerked around the QBs and the team in his naked pusuit of Favre, I really don’t think this guy deserves to win.

This has got to be the earliest I’ve been up since the summer. You know, back in the old days when I still had a steady job (not counting the recent contract work). I admit I was concerned about my ability to get up in the morning these days, but I think that as usual, I just needed some actual motivation, and in this case, it was that I will be leaving for Wisconsin tomorrow; the day before a trip is usually pretty busy, so I might as well get up early to tackle most of it.

I had another dream last night, although this one wasn’t nearly as weird as the last one — just sort of a generic “weird.” You know, the usual things, like living with a random assortment of friends and heavy snow outside and the like. What was memorable about this one is that the Dragon Boat Girl was in it, and she and I actually started talking again; she was deeply amused by my inability to pronounce certain words, and so that melted any ice between us.

To be honest, I miss DBG; she’s been with her current boyfriend for over two years now, and by all accounts is likely going to marry him at some point — this is cool, as she deserves some happiness after the tough times she had earlier in her life. But I always regretted that I’ve never been able to really maintain communication with her — she’s mainly busy with her school and work, naturally, but there have been things that have taken place which have led me to believe that she has some type of residual anger towards me. Or something. And okay, yeah, a lot of this is based on what I perceived as some “snubbing” on Facebook, but still!

Whatever the case, I would like to still count DBG among my friends, but I just don’t get the sense that the feeling is mutual, so obviously the dream was a hope for a mended relationship.

Ah well. At least the dream was a nice one in that sense, even if it wasn’t as entertaining as hiding from a black dragon in a department store. Hard to top that.

I had a dream last night which, as per usual, I didn’t entirely remember upon waking up, but was odd enough that I decided to take a few seconds to jot down the things that stood out:

So, I was messing around in this attic for some reason, and was checking to see if there was a portal to another dimension behind a tarp (because, you know, I was pretty sure that’s where I saw it last). This was sort of like a combination of “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” and “House of Leaves.” Anyway, sure enough, it was still there, but that turned out to be problematic as a black dragon from D&D came through. Me and some others wound up hiding in a store that was sort of like a Kmart or Target general department store, and the Dragon was looking around for us, naturally bringing in his human serfs. Half of them were dressed in all white suits with white make-up, and the other half had light grey suits with (you guessed it) light grey make-up. I remember thinking in the dream that they reminded of North Koreans paying tribute to Mickey Mouse — I have no clue why I thought that at the time.

Anyhoo, we managed to give the slip to the dragon out in the parking lot, and we drove off. I’m pretty sure there was more about the dragon getting tricked back through the portal and something about a weird traffic jam with trains, but obviously that wasn’t interesting enough for me to remember.

Looking out the window, I can see that we are finally getting some snow in these here parts; a light dusting at the moment, but I suspect that we’ll get an inch or two before it’s all over. I was planning on staying inside for the weekend, regardless, but it’s a reminder that I should get some good snow boots sometime. Of course, I could severely use a new winter coat, as well, but when one is jobless, you learn to pass on such items. In the meantime, who’s hungry for some more peanut butter & jelly sandwiches? I know I am!

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I hit up the ZogSports holiday party last night, and overall it was a disappointment. I lucked out at managed to recognize just one group of people from the Basketball group, but didn’t see anyone else that I knew (of course, I didn’t recognize the basketballers at first either — amazing the difference it makes when the people aren’t wearing brightly-colored ZogSports shirts), from basketball or football. Also, Laura didn’t show up, so I didn’t even get a chance to catch up with her. In the end, I left about an hour into it. I suppose I could have tried to mingle some more, but I was just not in the mood, really. Then, knowing I would not catch the 10 PM connection, I decided to hit up The Donut Pub for some goodies, but man, they were running a bit empty in terms of food. I wonder if I just came in at the point when they were baking new batches, because in terms of doughnuts, they only had a small selection.

At least during the trip in and out I managed to get some work done on the game project I’m working on. Let’s here it for the trusty Asus Notebook!

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Still no break-throughs on the job front. I did attend that IGDA Holiday get-together I mentioned previously, and managed to touch base with a few people, but nothing really massively important took place. At least not that I’m aware. There are a few companies that I am still sort of in limbo with, and it would be nice if they actually came around, but it’s not likely to happen until the start of the new year, so I have keep tightening the belt until then, at least, and likely beyond.

Also, when the new year begins, I’ll be making a bigger push for other jobs outside of the gaming industry. I really want to stay within that realm, but I’m almost at the end of my rope, so it’s time to look for other climbing possibilities. I wouldn’t mind getting back into the world of video post-production and editing; just need to do some projects to update the demoreel, really.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Shortly after this posting, I shall be attacking Wii Fit again to give me a solid 7 days in a row of use. The “game” also allows you to add in exercise you do any from the game through an “Activity Log,” so even if you don’t do those exercises, you can still get “credit” for working out. The major pitfall to this is that, as far as I can tell, you can only add in such notes the day that it “is.” In other words, when I’m visiting the family over Christmas, I could run a marathon every day (hypothetically, of course), but when I get back home, I couldn’t go back in the game’s calender to add these in. This makes for an annoying time as the little balance board will berate you in the game for not exercising in over a week, even as you scream that it never listens to you and can’t admit when its wrong.

I mean, other people do this too, right? …right?

So, it seems that former Browns starter and very recently Raiders 3rd stringer Charlie Frye got the nod to start this week over former #1 draft pick JaMarcus Russell. Charlie will be filling in for Bruce Gradkowski, another former Browns QB who was pulled in late last year after DA, Quinn, and Ken Dorsey all went down with season-ending injuries. A link:

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d81504125&template=with-video-with-comments&confirm=true

Browns fans will remember Charlie’s production (or lack thereof) and while Charlie was a nice guy from the hometown area, that everyone did want to succeed, he just never really was able to establish any claim to being a starting QB. Hence, it says a lot about the Raiders current opinion of Russell that they believe that Charlie still gives them a better chance to win. And it further cements Russell’s reputation as the modern-era Ryan Leaf. Not too mention it also making a further case as to why getting the first overall draft pick is more of a curse than a blessing these days, as a lot of money was sunk into Russell that could have been used to address other needs the team needed.

Anyway, as for the Browns reunion, this means that when the Browns and the Raiders play, you could have Charlie vs. Quinn in terms of the starting QBs, and in addition to Bruce, all that would be missing is Ken Dorsey to create the Browns QB roster from 2007-2008.

Come to think of it, that alone says so much about the Browns decade of futility….

(Oh, and on a side note about the Browns, they were raised from the last place of the power rankings to number 29. Hardly anything to brag about, when you hit rock-bottom, even the first rung of the ladder is an improvement.)

I received my first Christmas card over the weekend, from my Uncle Jim and Aunt Sandy. This made me think that perhaps the spiritual precursor to the friends lists of MySpace and Facebook is, in fact, the Christmas mailing list. In both cases half of the people on are those that you haven’t seen or talked to for years, and there’s probably also some people that you don’t even know.

Speaking of Christmas, I’ll be off in about an hour or so for the IGDA Holiday Party; I said I would show up early to see if they needed some volunteers, which might be a good way to see what the crowd is like. I’ll be curious to see how many people show up that I might recognize. And I now have my trusty business cards, so I’ll have to see if I find any reason to pull out it for a “networking moment.” I’m still skeptical that I’ll be able to find something until the new year, but I’ll have to see if I can’t at least have some things moving before then so I can start the year running. Hmm.

First, a question: Did someone mark me down on a Victoria Secret’s mailing list? I received a catalog from them the other day, and while I can certainly enjoy the pretty pictures, I don’t really recall signing up to get this thing.

Secondly, something even more nifty arrived yesterday, which are my very own business cards! Yay! These aren’t anything too spectacular, but they were free (not counting the $10 for shipping), I got 250 of them, and they gave with a selection of the pre-designed themes that I was able to put my name, email, phone number, game blog, and title of “Game Designer” on. I had decided that I could use some of these things when I realized that not only did I need some more for networking and schmoozing, but also for just in general. For example, suppose I happen to run across a smokin’ hot girl on the subway and starting talking with her? And let’s assume that she doesn’t run screaming to the police? Well, then, I can ever-so smoothly hand over one of the cards and leave it up to her. Works all the time on network sitcoms.

Eventually I hope to make some more personalize cards of my own, but we’ll see how these go first. And how much I actually need them.

Finally, in related news, I’m attempting to fill out the time between now and the end of the year with more activities (which may recall the need for passing out some cards). As it stands, Monday night I’ll be helping out at the Independent Game Designers Association holiday party, and then on that Friday the ZogSports end of the season party is taking place. The week after that I’ll be in Wisconsin spreading sunshine and laughter among the poor, down-trodden masses, and then I return to NJ for what is shaping up to be a D&D game. New Year’s Eve is still a bit murky, so I’ll have to see if I can’t sort that one out soon. There are a number of options — the trick is finding the one that I will have the most fun at/with.

And with that, I’m off. Tally ho!

Well, okay, I’m not planning on getting bombed, really, but hey, this is a rare occasion for a Browns fan.

First, to start out with, an image to share. The setup: on various sites, they have a “Weekly Leader” image for NFL leaders in passing yards, rushing yards, and receiving yards. This is naturally updated as the week progresses, with the Thursday games being the start of the “week.” Ergo, there are new people in the Weekly Leaders stat, and because the Browns-Steelers game is the only one that happened yet, only players from that game are included in the blurb (for now — I fully suspect that all will be replaced by others after the games have taken place). Anyway, the point is that the guy with the most rushing yards was a true Who-Dat player for the Browns who was activated from the practice squad only recently. The result?

Who was that masked man? We may never know.

Sorry, Mr. Jennings, but the NFL does not make a habit of taking photos of practice squad players. Still, enjoy your (brief) moment in the sun!

As for the game, I had stated before the season that if Mangini if only was going to win 1 game, as long as it’s against the Steelers, that would be enough to placate the fans. Certainly, there are still those who want the man gunned down and dumped into a sewage treatment plant, but this win against the Steelers — the first time at Cleveland since 2000 — has probably brought in a stay of execution for now. It’s really bizarre when you think about it, but the Steelers were the team that Crennel could never beat, even during that magical 2007 season when they almost had them at Pittsburgh. In 8 tries, Crennel came up empty, and a number of times was blown out of the water. In Mangini’s second attempt, he managed to orchestrate a dominating win, with no 4th quarter comeback from Big Ben. In fact, Big Ben, who entered the year without ever having lost to an Ohio team, is 1-3 against them for this year. Here’s hoping the trend continues.

The big national story is that the Steelers have utterly collasped. There could be any number of reasons for this — the move from a rushing offense to a passing offense, the absence of Troy Polamalu (looks like he got the Madden curse in full, leaving Fitzgerald free and clear), Big Ben’s concussion, the Superbowl hangover, the stars are not aligned, someone lost one of their lucky socks, etc. — but the sad fact is that the good teams can overcome such turmoil and still come to play.

But the bigger underlying story is the Browns. Nobody picked the Browns to win this game. Not even people in Cleveland, myself included, really thought that the Browns were going to play as well as they did. The Steelers didn’t lose this game because they played poorly, although that was certainly evident.  The Steelers lost because the Browns played the better football game. The Steelers had more talent and experience, the Browns were fielding rookies as green as the Seattle Seahawks uniforms and castoff players, including a guy — the aforementioned Jennings — who was cut from the Canadian Football League. The Steelers needed this game to maintain any real hope of the playoffs as well as get their swagger back, whereas the Browns had nothing to lose except for pride, and even then, after all that happened, you wouldn’t think that they had much left.

Yet, it was the Brown’s D that came out and gave a beating to the opposing quarterback. It was the Brown’s running game (and particularly Josh Cribbs) that ran all over the league’s number 1 defense. More than one commentator noted that the Browns were the ones who had the sense of urgency, of “the want,” of the desire for the win.

And that points to something that only local writers seemed to have grasped: despite what logic would dictate, the players of the Browns have been playing better football as the season continues. They haven’t given up on Mangini and his “process.” In fact, it’s scary to say, but it looks like everyone is honestly starting to get fully on board. Consider that the last few games have seen steady improvements across the board from the Browns. Consider that not long ago people were talking about the Saints defense having more touchdowns than the Browns offense, that the Browns were on pace to only score 12 touchdowns, that the Browns hadn’t scored a rushing touchdown with a running back, and so on. The Browns are only 2-11, but all that other talk has died down. Even the aftermath of the Kokinis firing has died down as well. Talk still abounds about the football czar, but in Berea, the players and coaches actually look like they are doing what “good” teams do: put that aside and focus on winning the game.

For me the biggest difference is the emergence of the offense. I still think Daboll is a long shot at staying on as Offensive Coordinator, unless the offense unleashes a series of 40+ points in all of the remaining games, but at least they don’t have that some utter futility that made them impossible to watch early on in the season. It wasn’t too long ago that I couldn’t see the Browns beating anyone in the league for the simple fact that the Browns weren’t scoring any touchdowns. Now that seems to have settled itself enough that you can think of the games against the Raiders and Chiefs as “winnable.” Quinn’s numbers were barely “adequate” last night, but he definitely has been playing much better, as his current streak of 4 games without an interception shows.

Now, the Browns get 10 days to rest up and plan up for the Chiefs. Here’s hoping they can ride the momentum from this win for a change and actually try to put together a 2-game winning streak for the first time this season.

In the meantime, as for the rest of football, I hope that the Packers continue to pound the Steelers flat. I’m also a Packers fan, though to a less degree, and the Packers need to grab every win they can to stay in the wildcard hunt. And hey, wouldn’t that be a great possibility for the Packer faithful? To get a playoff game against the Vikings, and watch as Favre throws 5 interceptions to knock the Vikings out of the run? Besides, for the Steelers, another loss will be the final nail their coffin, which is sweet revenge.

Likewise, the Ravens need to lose at least one more game, preferably at least two. I’m not too hopeful that the Lions can pull the upset, here, but I would really like to see the Steelers beat the Ravens to knock them out of playoff contention as well. And to be fair, that’s not a long shot. Did anyone else see the Ravens in their loss to the Packers? Particularly the last two minutes? The Ravens were playing like the Steelers — absolutely no sense of urgency or hustle. It was sad, but man, they had clearly quit on the game.

And again, isn’t it bizarre — and delicious — that of the three teams in the AFC North who don’t have a winning record, the Browns are the only ones who are playing with intensity and refuse to quit? Man.