[Scene opens in the Rangers living room. Chip, Dale, Monterey Jack,
and Zipper are sitting around the table, reading various parts of
a small newspaper. Gadget and Foxglove enter, smiling.]

GADGET: Hey guys, we need your help with something, if you don't
        mind.
CHIP: Us, mind? Of course not! Right guys?
DALE: Nope!
MONTY: Well...
GADGET: Great! Come with us.

[They all get up and follow Gadget and Foxglove out into the hallway, 
Monty and Zipper exchanging concerned looks. A series of dissolves 
takes place, showing the Rangers building a number of walls 
throughout the headquarters. The last dissolve is to the living room, 
which now contains a large wall enclosing the couch and television. 
Everyone stands out in front.]

DALE: Uhm... what's this all about again?
GADGET: Well, I've been reading a lot about Biospheres, and various 
        experiments on testing mental endurance, and thought it'd 
        be neat to try it myself, by combining the two!
CHIP: [not as enthused as he was before] So, how do *we* figure into 
      this?
GADGET: Oh, it's really quite simple. Just step into the Specially-
        Shielded Sensory Overload Chamber--
FOXGLOVE: Theater.
GADGET: Oops! I mean, theater, and I'll explain everything!
CHIP: Specially-shielded?
DALE: Sensory overload?
MONTY: Chamber?
GADGET: Trust me.

[Gadget opens what appears to be an airlock, and motions for them 
all to enter. Chip, Dale, Monty, and Zipper all look around for a 
minute, then cautiously step inside. Foxglove holds Zipper back.]

FOXGLOVE: Hang on, Zipper, we have to tell you about your role here.

[She leans over and starts whispering, all the while Zipper's look 
growing more confused and worried. Finally, she gives him a small 
camera, and sends him down after the others. As they go down the 
passage, they pass by a series of doors, numbered down from six.]

CHIP: What's with the numbers on the doors, Gadget?
GADGET: [O.S.] I'm not sure. Just felt right for some reason.

[Zipper flits by them, and the screen goes to snow for a moment, 
then clears up, showing the inside of the new Television Chamber 
as Chip and the rest enter, sitting down on the couch.]

GADGET: [O.S.] Sit tight guys! I'll be right with you.

[The sound of the airlock closing and locking is heard. The trio 
look at each other, then back to Zipper.]

MONTY: Hey mate, what're you doin' back there?

[Zipper buzzes something, to which the three Rangers gape in 
response.]

ALL: We're going to *what*?!

[The screen crackles, then switches to Gadget's workshop. Gadget 
and Foxglove and looking at the camera, then smile pleasantly.]

GADGET: Golly, it worked!
FOXGLOVE: Great! I'll check to make sure the line feed is locked 
          down for future use!

[She happily scampers off to the side.]

GADGET: Okay guys, you're all part of my latest, greatest experiment! 
        I couldn't tell you anything about it, or it would spoil the 
        test results, you understand.

[TV Chamber]

CHIP: Test results?!

[Workshop]

GADGET: Yep! You see, I'm going to ask you guys to watch a lot of 
        really bad, bizarre, and beyond-description stories and 
        writings! I've rigged up the Chamber you're in to monitor 
        your reactions to them. As time goes on, we should learn 
        a lot about the mental threshold of chipmunks and large,
        Australian mice.

[TV Chamber]

MONTY: Gadget-luv, you can't be--
DALE: Hey, what about Zipper? He's here, too!

[Workshop]

GADGET: Well, since he's going to be busy operating that camera 
        which enables us to communicate and monitor your minds, 
        he really doesn't count.

[Foxglove skips back next Gadget.]

FOXGLOVE: Everything is all set! We're ready to send them the 
          first of the two at your signal.

[TV Chamber]

ALL: Two?!

[Workshop]

GADGET: Well, golly, guys. I couldn't just thrust you into this 
        without a small warm-up, now could I?

[Both she and Foxglove smile warmly.]

GADGET: [coy voice] We care about your well-being you know, and 
        are *very* appreciative for your help here.

[TV Chamber]

[Chip and Dale warm at this and settle back down. Monty slaps 
his paw to his forehead and lets it run down his face, but also 
settles down.]

[Workshop]

GADGET: Okay, guys, here's your warm-up. A little piece of spam 
        that we got at our account at the library recently. [to 
        Foxglove] Push the button, Foxy.

[TV Chamber]

[Outside, the muted signs of alarms and chaos is heard. The trio 
look around in a state of nervousness.]

DALE: I got that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach again....

>Attention All Home Owners!

DALE: Does that include Tree Dwellers?
CHIP: Shhh -- this is why I hate going to movies with you.

>
>Dear Homeowner:

MONTY: I think Dale has a point, Chipper.
CHIP: What?
MONTY: Well... just watch, and see if you don't get the urge 
       to comment.

>
>Would you like to pay off all your bills? Do 
>some home improvements?

DALE: Actually buy a home?

>
>Now you can!
>

CHIP: Sounds like a Sure commercial.

[Dale and Monty steal a glance at Chip.]

CHIP: Okay, okay -- you were right. There. I said it.
DALE: Somebody write that down!
CHIP: Shut up.

>There has never been a better time to take 
>advantage of some of the lowest interest

MONTY: In spam messages like this.

>                                         rates 
>in over two decades!

DALE: Or maybe even twenty years!

>
>*Zero out-of-pocket expense

CHIP: Everything comes out of your bank account.

>
>*Loan proceeds may be used for debt consolidation 
>and/or home improvements,

DALE: Like buying out Tim Allen?
CHIP: Er, no.

>                          or a portion of loan 
>amount can also be used for any purpose

MONTY: Includin' payin' off the other loans used to get
       this one.

>
>*Consolidate your debts into one, easy, low payment

CHIP: Consisting of your house, wife, and first-born child.

>
>*Increase your cash flow

MONTY: If you liquidate your assents, maybe.

>
>*Pay off all your bills

DALE: Uh, we have snouts, though.

>
>*No equity required! (Up to 135% loan-to-value)

CHIP: Which, ironically, is also their interest rate.

>
>*No appraisal required for loan amounts $60,000 
>or less

CHIP: No intelligence required to join. In fact, it's preferred.

>
>*Fixed rates and payments

MONTY: You're stuck with 'em regardless of your ability to pay.

>
>*Funding in as little as 7 -10 working days

CHIP: Just as soon as they sucker a few more people into this 
      scheme.

>
>*Terms to 25 years or less

DALE: They're talking 'bout prison terms, right?
CHIP: I think so.

>
>*Interest may be tax deductible (Consult your 
>tax advisor.)

MONTY: Or parole officer.

>
>*1st or 2nd low interest mortgages also available

DALE: On your soul.

>
>Here is an example of the savings you could receive:

CHIP: See this penny?

>
>ITEM                 DEBT              PAYMENT
>
>Credit Card #1   $5,000            $200/mo.
>Credit Card #2   $8,000            $320/mo.
>Credit Card #3   $7,250            $290/mo.

DALE: Which lucky Credit Card will Trixie choose? Stay tuned as 
      she makes her decision!

>Personal Loan    $7,750            $310/mo.
>
>Total            $28,000           $1120/mo.
>
>Payment before:  $1120 per month
>Payment after:   $337 per month

CHIP: Where did *that* come from?
DALE: Must be that new math stuff.

>
>YOU SAVE $783 PER MONTH - OVER $9,300 IN 
>CASHPER YEAR!

DALE: [singing] It's Cashper, the friendly year....

>
>Isn't it time you got out from underneath the burden 
>of all your

CHIP: Viable income?

>            debt? 
>
>For your  mortgage analysis:  

MONTY: Send $599.99 to:
DALE: Ima Sucker, Falsification Way, Leech MN, 00000.

><A HREF="http://www.leadgeneration.net/mortgage/loaninfo.htm"
>CLICK HERE</A> for more info...

DALE: Should we be able to see that stuff?
CHIP: Yes. Because then it means the link doesn't work.

>
>Remember, there is absolutely no obligation.

MONTY: Or promise that this will better your life.

>
>
>**********************************************
>If you wish to be removed from this mailing list, 

CHIP: Pray to God.

><A HREF="mailto:mortgage@leadgeneration.net">click here</A> 
>and your request will be immediately honored.

[All snicker.]

>
>
>@1998 West Coast Funding.

CHIP: Helping to buy out California.

>                           All rights reserved.

CHIP: They even admit that they have no right to do this!
DALE: See, Chipper? It's just a natural reaction to retort to 
      something like this.
MONTY: He's right, mate. Plus, I think it's part o' Gadget's 
       experiment.
CHIP: Well, yeah, it was somewhat therapeutic.

[Workshop]

GADGET: Guys? Guys!

[TV Chamber]

DALE: Hmm?

[They turn around to face the camera.]

MONTY: What is it, luv?

[Workshop]

GADGET: You can step out for a minute. We need to get the next 
        experiment cued-up.

[TV Chamber]

CHIP: You don't have to tell me twice; move it, guys!

[ 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 6 ]

[Living Room]

[The three Rangers are in the living room, standing behind the 
table. Chip looks at the camera.]

CHIP: So you really weren't bothered by the ad, Zipper?

[Zipper buzzes a bit, the scene slowly shaking "no".]

MONTY: Told ya, Chipper. He's too busy workin' the camera to really
       be affected.
DALE: Just like Gadget said.
CHIP: Speaking of which, I wanted to ask her what this is about....

[He reaches under the table and pulls out what appears to be cut 
piece of a LiteBrite screen, with a small box attached underneath, 
and three LiteBrite bulbs stuck in the top: red, blue, and white.]

DALE: Yeah. I saw another over there.

[He points behind them to the wall to the TV Chamber, where a 
similar light box has been mounted. The red bulb on the one Chip 
is holding starts to flash. Chip hastily sets it down.]

CHIP: I hope that's not a warning light...
MONTY: Nah. We would've had buzzers and ev'rything as well.
DALE: Still, it's kinda neat, huh?

[He reaches out and touches the bulb. Switch to Workshop]

GADGET: Oh good! You guys answered it!

[Living room]

DALE: Uh... answered what?

[Workshop]

FOXGLOVE: The calling light, darling!
GADGET: Yep! It's how we can signal you to talk, now. I mean, 
        we need some way to communicate with you while you're in 
        quarantine.

[Living Room]

CHIP: Yeah, that makes sen--what?!
DALE: Quarantine?! We can't be! I-I don't even know what it means!
MONTY: You never said anythin' 'bout this, luv!

[Workshop]

GADGET: [To Foxglove] Golly, they're reacting to the news worse than I
        thought.
FOXGLOVE: True, but Dale sure is adorable when he's baffled!
GADGET: I think we'd better send them the main course, before they
        burn themselves out.
FOXGLOVE: Sure thing. With any luck, Dale will be *really* baffled
          by this one!

[She reaches over and presses a button O.S. Switch to the Living room,
where lights and sirens start going haywire. The commotion also upsets 
Zipper's camera hand, shaking the screen about.]

MONTY: I think we found out what those noises were earlier!
CHIP: Never mind them now! How do we get out of this madhouse?
DALE: I know! Follow me -- this is the only passage where it's 
      quiet!

[He darts into the TV Chamber passage, Monty following. Chip 
takes a moment to sigh at the camera.]

CHIP: Talk about out of the pan and into the fire....

[He reluctantly follows the others and the door slams shut behind him.]

[ 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ]

[Monty and the chipmunks stumble into the Chamber and collapse on the
couch.]

MONTY: Well mates, looks like we just have to tough this thing through.
CHIP: I think Custer told his men the same thing.

>"Dial 'O' For Oddimals"
>

DALE: [Operator] Please deposit fifteen dollars for the first five 
      oddities.

>by Zucccini@aol.com

MONTY: A fruit wrote this?
DALE: Zucccini? Isn't he some sort of Italian opera singer?
CHIP: Help me.

>
>TTA characters and any others, most likely, are copyright Warner Bros. 

DALE: Any other characters? Isn't that a bit vague?
CHIP: I think the author is referring to other company's characters, 
      like Popeye, Eek, and Johnny Quest.

>I wrote this, I get no money,

DALE: [singing] 'Cause I-I-I-I... ain't got no money....

>                              yada yada. Oh, Oddimals are copyright me.

MONTY: Do their parents know this?

>If you want to use 'em in a story, fine, but tell me first : )
>_______________________________________________________________________
>_
>
>
>    "Show Goes Animani-ax," read Buster Bunny aloud. "Gee, looks like 
>WB shut down yet another show."

MONTY: Oh, this is somethin' people at Disney are *real* familiar with 
       already.
CHIP: [Disney exec] We cancel more shows before eight than most studios 
      do before noon!

>    Babs nodded as she filed her nails.

CHIP: And then polished her hammers as she reorganized her carpentry 
      tools.

>                                         "Almost a pity. That Dot kid 
>had one swell voice."

DALE: I always thought she sounded like Gadget....
CHIP: Babs or Dot?
DALE: Both, really.

>    "Hmph," muttered Plucky as he snatched the Varietoon out of 
>Buster's paws. "Check this, you guys.

DALE: [Plucky] Some jerk already did the crossword. In ink!

>                                      'Mice Got Nice, TTA Elmyra Mix 
>With Trix'.

DALE: Elmyra caught the Trix rabbit?
MONTY: 'Bout time.

>            They've added Elmyra to that Pinky and the Brain show!"
>    Buster and Babs laughed. "Good one Plucky!"
>    Before Plucky could correct them, Shirley walked up to the group. 
>"Like, hi! Great morning, huh? Have you heard about Elmyra? She, like, 
>got a job, or some junk."

CHIP: [Shirley] Like, whatever a job is.

>    The two bunnies frowned as Plucky gave them each a raspberry.

DALE: That's all they get to eat for breakfast?
CHIP: The recession has hit everyone hard.

>                                                                   It 
>had been so long since any of the toons at Acme Loo had gotten a job. 

MONTY: What with child labor laws and all.

>They remained young only because a nice network called Nickelodeon ran 

CHIP: Bizarre lab experiments on them.

>their re-runs on a good timeslot. Warner Bros had, for the most part, 
>ignored them.

DALE: Joining the rest of America.

>              Now that Animaniacs had gotten canceled, they knew they 
>would never be on as a cameo for a long time.

DALE: [English accent] And there was much rejoicing.
MONTY AND CHIP: [Dully] Yayyyyyy.

>                                              As though it had been 
>rehearsed, the group all let out one deep sigh at the same time.

CHIP: Good thing they didn't try for a short, shallow sob, or they 
      would have been way out of sync.

>    "We might as well face it, guys, we're never gonna be back in show 
>business." Babs muttered. The group agreed.

DALE: [Babs] We suck rocks.

>                                            They all got up and walked 
>to school.
>
>* * * * *

DALE: Yes, the stars come out to shine in Acme-brand fanfics!
MONTY: Brand? Try 'bland'.

>
>    "Now class," began Bugs as the students filed into the classroom. 
>"I hope you had a good weekend,

DALE: Because it's your last.

>                                but before we discuss de reports on 
>'Comical Comebacks' you all did-"
>    "All except _me_..." thought Plucky.

DALE: What else can we expect from a birdbrain?
CHIP: [rimshot]

>    "-I have a short announcement."

MONTY: Time to read off the students who will appease the Spider-God's 
       appetite.
DALE: Where's Ator when you need him?

>  Bugs reached inside a drawer in his desk and pulled out a note. He 
>cleared his throat and eyed the class. They were all so talented and 
>had proven to be worthy of the name

CHIP: Cannon fodder.

>                                    "Warner Bros.", but the Big Boys 
>wouldn't give them the time of day. "Class, Animaniacs has been 
>canceled-"

CHIP: In the race to keep up with Disney for the most canceled shows 
      in a ten year span.

>  Bugs paused while the class gasped in shock.

DALE: [student] What's "Animaniacs"?

>                                               Some of the toons knew 
>it had to come some day, but it was still rather sudden. When the 
>clamor died down, he began again.

MONTY: [Bugs] Class, Animaniacs has been canceled....

>    "Warner Brodders

DALE: Warner breeders?

>                      wants to see some quality entertainment come 
>outta dis school.

CHIP: Try for some decent diction, first.

>                  If we can't come up with a handful of new characters, 
>dis school is cartoon history!"

DALE: Doomed to be shunted to a second cable channel as time filler?
CHIP: Don't remind me.

>    As the classroom echoed with questions, Buster Bunny raised a paw. 

DALE: [Buster] Is this going to be on the final?

>"But Bugs, WB doesn't want Tiny Toons, they want Zany Toons.

MONTY: [Buster] Our illegitimate siblings.

>                                                             The 
>Looniversity doesn't have the type of characters to satisfy Warner 
>execs."

MONTY: Seein' the wisdom of Buster, Bugs agreed and the class quit 
       tryin'. The end.

>    Bugs raised his paws and the class

CHIP: Parted before him.

>                                        went silent. "Dat's a good 
>point dere, Buster. But I've already t'ought of dat.

DALE: Did Bugs' accent always sound like something outta a gangster 
      flick?
CHIP: Maybe it's really "Bugsy".

>                                                     The faculty and I 
>got together and discussed things over carrot cake da odder week.

DALE: [Bugs(y)] But dey couldn't understand a single ding I said.

>                                                                  It 
>was our decision to import six young toons from Brazil."
>    "Brazil?!?

CHIP: They're bringing in Terry Gilliam to direct?

>                What the--" shouted Plucky. Before he could finish, 
>Bugs had again silenced the class.

MONTY: That mute button comes in mighty handy.

>                                   He eyed Plucky and the duck slumped 
>down in his seat.

CHIP: As the carbon monoxide secretly pumped into the school's 
      ventilation finally took effect.

>    "If we can turn dese 'exchange toons' into kick-tail characters,

DALE: Or "Shirt Tail" characters.
 
>da school won't close. I want six students to work wit dese guys.

CHIP: [Bugs(y)] Play hockey wit dem.

>                                                                  I 
>want dem to be extra nice to dese fellows and pleasurable to work wid," 

CHIP: [Bugs(y)] Get in good wit dem. Win 'em over to our side. Name 
      names.

>Bugs reached in his pocket and pulled out a carrot. He looked it over 
>pondering.

MONTY: [Bugs(y)] Hmm... yep. Still a carrot.

>           The class knew Bugs was actually thinking of which students 
>to choose.

CHIP: Which was fortunate, as Bugs had forgotten his original goal long 
      ago.

>           Every toon in the room gulped when Bugs looked up and took a 
>deep breath.

DALE: [student] He's going to sing! Run for it!

>             "Buster, I definitely want you to head da group, Mr. 
>Student Body President.

MONTY: [Bugs(y)] Got it, Mr. Big Shot?

>                        Babs, show dem da ropes.

CHIP: [Bugs(y)] Den shove 'em off da gallows.

>                                                 Furrball, I can see 
>use for you here,

DALE: As a dustmop, maybe.

>                  along with Hamton, Fifi, and--" Bugs looked around 

MONTY: Tryin' to find the teleprompter for his next line.

>and spotted Plucky sleeping on his desk. "--and Plucky,"-Plucky jumped 
>a little when he heard his name- "Plucky will be da final member of da 
>team."

CHIP: Yeah. Every team needs a scapegoat.

[He steals a glance at Dale.]

DALE: Hey... what're you looking at *me* for?

>  Plucky groaned and looked at Buster.

DALE: [Plucky] Is it third period already?

>                                       He and the rest of the toons 
>chosen all had the same expressions; "Why me?"
>* * * * * * *
>
>    "Like, I feel so totally bad!" cried Shirley.

CHIP: [Shirley] Like, I lost my brain again, and some junk!

>                                                   "I should have 
>volunteered!"

MONTY: The faculty was askin' for sacrifices?

>    "Eh, it aint your fault,

DALE: Watch this slight of hand -- that apostrophe that disappeared 
      there? Well... Huzzah!

>                              Shirl',"

DALE: It's back!
MONTY AND CHIP: [applause]
DALE: Thank you, thank you. It's a natural gift, I confess.

>                                       comforted Plucky. "But I'll 
>except your apology tonight at my place if you'd like!"

DALE: [Plucky] The dishes are looking pretty bad again.

>  Shirley pulled behind her back a pair of cymbals and smashed them 
>together on Plucky's head.

CHIP: [Plucky] WaS tHaT a YeS?

>    "Vell, Ah am, 'ow you say, flabbergasted!" exclaimed Fifi.

CHIP: Has anyone else noticed that Zucccini seems to have an aversion 
      to having the verb follow the character's name in this 
      dialogue?
MONTY: It's considered polite grammar to let the verb go first.

>                                                                "Why 
>would he ever choose moi?"
>    "First off, nobody says 'flabbergasted',"

DALE: Fifi just did. So much for that belief!

>                                               began Babs. "Second of 
>all, who are these guys? I mean, why can't _we_ work on our own show?"

MONTY: 'Cause it's been canned.
DALE: Wasn't a hard question.

>    Buster stood up. "We're has-beens. WB doesn't want washed up 
>toons. They want new stars!"

CHIP: Sirius! Ursa Major! Rigel!

>    "They keep recycling Pinky and the Brain,"

CHIP: They're bio-degradable.

>    The group laughed a little at Babs's remark.

DALE: Ha. Ha ha. Ha.

>                                                  Suddenly, Plucky let 
>out a yell.
>    "Hey! What are you doing!" he shouted. As the gang turned, they 
>saw Plucky rolling on the ground with a fuzzy green boa wrapped around 
>his neck.

MONTY: Ah, Rogaine *does* work on snakes.

>          They all pulled it off and to their amazement,

CHIP: Felt good about saving Plucky's pathetic life.

>                                                         a little fox-
>like animal smiled back at them. She waved her paw and pointed towards 
>Plucky.

MONTY: [Fox-like animal] Dibs.

>    "I'm sorry," she said. "Was that seat taken?"
>    Plucky scrambled up and opened his mouth to say something when a 
>brown bat flew right into his face.

DALE: I wonder if Foxglove knows who it is?

>                                    He peeled the animal off and a 
>small bat with a long tail and bucked teeth smiled warily at him. "I n-
>need to work on m-my landings, huh?"

MONTY: Boy, Launchpad is just desperate for work these, days.
DALE: It's either him or Torgo....

>    The green fox hopped out of Buster and Hamton's arms and rubbed 
>against Plucky's leg.

CHIP: I think she needs to go out.
MONTY: They are outside.
CHIP: Then I think she needs to go *farther* out.
DALE: Far out! Get it?!

[Chip bops Dale on the head]

DALE: Ow! I guess so....

>                      She then jumped up on top of the bench the toons 
>were sitting on before her arrival and licked her paw. "Excuse me if I 
>seem to come on a little strong."

CHIP: [Green fox] I haven't use deodorant since 1982.

>    "Zuccini! Wait for us!" came a shout not to far away. Up ran a 
>panting dog-like animal.

MONTY: Pauly Shore?

>                         He shook himself awake when he saw Babs. "On 
>second thought, run on up ahead, I have matters to take care of!"

DALE: Yeah, better change that flea collar.

>    Babs whirled into a Mae West impression. "Hiya, big boy! Why don't 
>you come down and see me some time?"

DALE: [dog-like animal] Uh, because you're right here?

>    "Boomer, where's Zuccini?

CHIP: Try the produce section.

>                               Has she gotten us lost _again_?" The 
>gang turned and saw a white rabbit hop up their way.

DALE: [white rabbit] I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!

>                                                     A peculiar trait 
>she had was her tail stuck out much further than a rabbit's.

CHIP: Even more peculiar was that it wasn't currently attached.

>    Buster and Hamton looked over and bulged their eyes out. They 
>started drooling all over the ground and panting.

MONTY: Pavlov repeats his experiment with pigs and rabbits.

>                                                  The others looked and 
>saw a beautiful aqua colored otter

DALE: Boy, Questy'll be sad he missed this part!

>                                   stroll up to them, with each move 
>swinging her hips right and left. Buster started thumping.

CHIP: That's why they call me Thumper!

>                                                           "Well, it 
>seems now-a-days a girl can't even go out for a walk without a couple 
>of droolers hangin' about."
>    She went up to him and shut his mouth with her

MONTY: Incoming fist.

>                                                    finger and winked. 
>Babs just rolled her eyes.

DALE: [Babs] Yatzee!

>                           She then noticed a gray animal with a maroon 
>colored cap coming their way. When he got to them, he smiled bashfully 
>and stood over next to the green fox thing.

CHIP: Gray animal, this is green fox thing. Green fox thing, gray
      animal.

>                                            He smiled again and said a 
>quiet "H'lo."
>    The Tiny Toons stepped back and looked at these odd animals.

DALE: [flatly] Odd animals -- oddimals. Get it?
MONTY: Uh oh, it's *kooky*!

>                                                                  They 
>didn't know who they were or where they were from, but they really 
>didn't want to find out.

CHIP: Except for that otter the guys were drooling over.

>                         So as they started to slip away, Bugs came up 
>and stopped them.
>    "I see yous kids has met the oddimals."
>    The toons just looked bewildered. "Oddimals?"

CHIP: [Bugs(y)] My contacts from de Bronx.

>    Bugs nodded and they looked back. The handful of misfits gave them 
>a big toothy grin. Buster spoke to Bugs.
>    "You can't be serious! These guys are, are--"

MONTY: [Buster] Someone's fictional characters that will outshine us in 
       every fanfic!

>    "Looney?" figured the old rabbit.

CHIP: Old, but unwise.

>                                       He smiled at Buster. Buster 
>turned and shrugged to his comrades as Bugs walked away.

CHIP: Well. That was a intense conversation to clear up any questions.
MONTY: It's time for his "English as a second language" lesson.

>    As Buster turned to his Tiny Toon pals, Boomer stepped up to the 
>rabbit.

MONTY: Which one? There's about three or so standin' around.

>        "Ya know," he said. " We aint as bad as we look.

DALE: [Boomer] We're much worse.

>                                                         Well, Zuccini 
>is--"

CHIP: [Boomer] A rabbit skinner... oh, that really doesn't help matters 
      that much, does it?

>      the little fox thing smiled a toothy grin Buster's way.

DALE: Toothy grins sure are popular, aren't they?
CHIP: Just be glad they aren't bloody.

>                                                              Boomer 
>continued. " Give us a week,

MONTY: [Boomer] And we'll make your shag carpets look like new!

>                             show us the ropes, and I guarantee you'll 

CHIP: Regret it for the rest of your natural born life.

>be surprised."
>    "That's what I'm afraid of," whispered Plucky to Babs.
>* * * * * * * * * * *
>    "Okay, Boomer, what do you know?" asked Buster as he and the dog 
>walked to Buster's hole. He had wanted to talk to him and get to the 
>guy.

DALE: "Get to the guy"? Buster wants to annoy Boomer already?

>     He seemed a natural leader and the obvious choice for these new 
>characters.

MONTY: That's what his resume said, at least.

>    "I know the difference between real butter and I Can't Believe 
>It's Not Butter." he replied. Buster stopped walking and turned to face 
>his new friend.

DALE: [Buster] You're hopeless.

>    Boomer was a gold-colored animal that was part dog and part 
>wombat.

CHIP: The worst parts.

>        His ears were brown and flopped over like Hamton's anf

DALE: Uh, what's an 'anf', anyway?
MONTY: I'm not sure, mate, but Hamton's got one. Ask him.

>                                                               his tail 
>was like Calamity's. He wore a blue vest that was unbuttoned exposing 
>his stomach and chest.

CHIP: So, he went to the Fabio School of Dressing.

>                       His muzzle was broad but fairly short and his 
>nose was the same color as Buster's. He wore sneakers the same color as 
>his vest and a pair of white gloves.

CHIP: So he wouldn't leave fingerprints during his "work".

>                                     His voice reminded Buster of 

DALE: Cher's yodeling.

>Foxy's from Toon-Tone Town, only with an Australian accent.

MONTY: Or it would, if there was one.

>    "That's silly, Boomer, _nobody_ can tell the difference!

CHIP: Or would care enough to want to.

>                                                              Now 
>c'mon, my burrow is right over there."
>

CHIP: [Boomer] Oh, by the double space?

>    Inside, Buster showed Boomer his room.

DALE: [Buster] Here it is. I know it's not much. You might say it's 
      just a hole in the wall.

>    "Hey, Buster, who's this?' asked Boomer. He held up a picture of 

CHIP: Jimmy Hoffa.

>Babs and Buster as kids eating ice cream.
>    "Oh, well that's Babs and me when we were three. Weren't we cute?"

MONTY: [Boomer] No.

>    "You wore a diaper at age three?"

DALE: [Buster] I have relatives who wear them at age seventy. Don't 
      laugh.

>    Buster snatched the photo away. "all right, Boomer, you got a lot 
>to learn.

CHIP: Hopefully, Buster isn't going to try and teach him about 
      capitalization.

>          What are you good at?"
>    "Lot's of things.

DALE: [Boomer] Rolling over. Fetching the paper. Barking out orders.

>                       Sports, girls, sleeping, girls, debate, girls--"
>    Buster stopped him. "You say debate?"
>    The dog nodded.

MONTY: [Boomer] 'Debate'. Try another one, go on. I like this game!

>    "Think you can do much good at comebacks?"
>    Boomer thought a bit.

CHIP: If he has to think before answering, the answer is no.

>                           "Yeah, I suppose."
>    "Okay, then, I'm going to say something and I want you to respond 
>in a way that'll make me look stupid.

CHIP: That's supposed to be a challenge?

>                                      Got it?"
>    "Got it."
>    "Good. First one." Buster cleared his throat and began. " 

DALE: [Buster] ...uh, just let me find my notes... I know I have 
      something....

>Somebody's playing a cd player really loud. They then ask you 'got a 
>problem with my music?' What do you say?"

MONTY: Who writes your lines?

>    "No, I got a problem with the bonehead playing the music?"
>    "Try again."

DALE: [Boomer] Uh, I got a big problem with the bonehead playing the 
      music?

>    "I can't hear you over the sound of that cat being ground up in 
>that tractor over in the other room?"

MONTY: Ah, now *that's* music to my ears....

>    "Not bad."
>    "No, I have a problem with that portable trash compactor you're 
>carrying."

CHIP: I hope this doesn't give Gadget any ideas....

>    "Nice!" complemented Buster. "I'd like to practice a little more, 

DALE: [Buster] Seeing as how I need it.

>but I unfortunately have to get a few things and run to the library. 
>Homework."

DALE: Wasn't his homework to tutor Boomer?

>    "If you have to go, why did you bring me down here?" asked Boomer.

CHIP: [Buster] No reason...mawha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

>    "I figured you could use a break. Besides, I don't know what else 
>to do with ya."

MONTY: [Buster] Don't worry about that stack of bodies in the corner. 
       They were here when I moved in.

>    Buster grabbed his books and walked towards his burrow entrance. 

CHIP: [Buster] Nuts. I always forget where the exit is....

>Boomer stopped him. "I suggest you get Zuccini to help you out with 
>that work. You won't need any books with her help."

MONTY: [Boomer] Just a quart of scotch.

>    Buster just rolled his eyes as he walked up and out of his hole. 
>He didn't believe Zuccini could help him with Toon Physics.

CHIP: He didn't believe in UFOs, Santa Claus, or the theory of 
      relativity. The boy was a born skeptic!

>                                                            He laughed 
>a little as he walked to the library to meet his study partner, Plucky.

CHIP: What were the things he had to get?

>* * * * *

CHIP: Ah, paragraph breaks.

>    "Why won't you leave me alone?" asked Plucky. But his admirer just 
>grinned.

MONTY: A tender moment between Plucky and his stalker.

>    "I can't help it!" replied Zuccini. "I'm attracted to waterfowl!"

CHIP: [Zuccini] They go great with lemon sauce and a side of asparagus.

>    Plucky looked across the table at his little fan.

DALE: [Plucky] Hey! Who unplugged it?

>                                                       Zuccini had 
>green fur that was lighter than his, almost yellow-green. Her ears were 
>floppy and similar to the Animaniacs's Warner brothers. Her belly was

DALE: Great with child.

[Chip and Monterey turn to Dale with a questioning look.]

DALE: Sorry. I've been talking with that crow in the park lately.
 
>light yellow and came up to her eyes. Like Mickey Mouse, she had

CHIP: Been reduced to a figurehead for a company, every ounce of 
      personality drained away.

>                                                                 her 
>face the color of her stomach with ears and the back of her head the 
>color of her body. Her eyes were gorgeous, having pretty lashes and 

CHIP: Bloodshot whites.

>large pupils. The iris was emerald and they sparkled as she stared 
>dreamily at him. Her nose was black and her snout wasn't long nor 
>short, just sort of there,

CHIP: There's a descriptive term....
MONTY: What, you want *more*?
CHIP: Hmmm. Point.

>                           and her lip wasn't split like a rabbit's. 

DALE: It was split like a fault in week-old pudding.

>Her fingers and palms were light yellow and so were her toes. She had 
>somewhat long legs for an animal her size, maybe Furrball's size.

MONTY: Her legs were somewhat long for Furrball?
CHIP: I think we're better off not asking for clarification.

>                                                                  Her 
>tail was long and bushy like a fox tail with a light yellow tip. She 
>was, in a way,

DALE: Disturbing.

>               beautiful-- not sexy-- but pretty. Plucky looked away.

MONTY: Havin' stared at her for the past five minutes.

>    "Whatcha got there?" she asked.

CHIP: [Plucky] Small pox. Want some?

>    Plucky looked at his physics homework and sighed. "Something for 
>school."

MONTY: The student manifesto.

>    "Lemme see."
>    Zuccini, or Zuzu as her friends called her,

DALE: Except when they were mad, at which point they called her many 
      other things.

>                                                 grabbed the paper and 
>read it to herself. She grabbed a pencil and began working on the 
>problems. In five minutes, every answer was solved.

MONTY: Incorrectly, but hey.

>                                                    She handed the 
>paper back to Plucky, who looked baffled at the sheet.

DALE: [Plucky] This used to be a tree? No way!

>                                                       "How did you do 
>that?"
>    Smiling, Zuzu replied, "It's a toon thing."

CHIP: [Plucky] I *am* a toon, you dolt. Don't patronize me.

>    Plucky couldn't help but smile. Maybe this group of oddimals would 
>prove to be a worthy bunch of cartoon characters.

DALE: [Plucky] I could use a smart gal like you in my operations.

>                                                  "So, Zuccini, where'd 
>the name come from?"

CHIP: A horrid nightmare.

>    "My best friend Bandit gave it to me. He said I looked like one."
>    "Oh?"
>    "Yeah, he's a sweet little guy. I could tell you the whole story, 
>but I don't want to bore ya."

CHIP: What? She just said that Bandit gave her the name because she 
      looked like one. *That's* a long story?
DALE: Hey, with long stories like that, I'd get a lot more reading 
      done!

>    "I see."
>    Zuccini cleared away the junk on the table and jumped on top of 
>it. She spun around like Babs would do

MONTY: Spin cycle -- the costume changin' style for millions.

>                                       and stopped in a skin tight 
>emerald dress that glittered. She stood on her tip-toes in high heels. 

DALE: The shoes don't give you much choice, really.

>Her ears sort of morphed to hair that flopped over her right eye and 
>gave her a very seductive look.

CHIP: And blinded her enough that she misstepped and went crashing to 
      the floor.

>                                I'd go into more detail on her figure, 

MONTY: Why stop now?

>but let's just say she looked something like Jessica Rabbit.

DALE: Except she didn't have red hair. And wasn't human. And wasn't 
      six foot tall. And wasn't wearing red. And.... well, okay, maybe 
      she didn't look a thing like Jessica Rabbit, after all.

>                                                             Plucky's 
>eyes lit up and his mouth dropped.
>    "You're not _bored_, are you?" asked Zuzu, stretching her leg out 
>under Plucky's bill.

MONTY: [Zuccini] Please pay on your way out. Don't forget to include 
       the tip.

>                     He flipped in his seat.
>    Plucky bounced around the library in a love-sick fashion, hitting 
>book cases and tables and librarians.

CHIP: In short, nothing important.
DALE: Bookcases and tables and librarians, oh my!

>                                      He bounced back into his chair 
>with his heart pounding and sighed at Zuccini. "No..." he got out.

MONTY: While the gettin' was good.

>    Zuzu raised his head

CHIP: How? Telekinesis?

>                          and sort of batted her lashes. She whispered 
>into his ear a slow, soft "Good."
>  She turned around and began slipping the dress off.

DALE: Heyheyheyhey! Wait a minute here!

>                                                      Plucky turned 
>into a lighted firecracker and flew out the door in

CHIP: Terror.

>                                                    excitement. Zuzu 
>turned around and saw he was gone. The dress was off,

ALL: Whoa! Halt! Stop! Time out!

>                                                      her ears were 
>back to normal, and the heels had been kicked away. She was back to 
>normal.

DALE: Oh. Whew, nasty scare, there. Don't want to lose our "G" rating.

>    "Gee, I wonder were that silly duck went." she thought.

CHIP: I'd worry more about where your "h" went.
MONTY: And who switched your comma with a period.
DALE: Yeah, it happens a lot in here, doesn't it?

>                                                             Buster 
>walked through the doors that instant and hopped over to her table.
>    "Where's Plucky?" he asked.

CHIP: [Buster] I asked that firecracker, but it ignored me, the jerk.

>                                 "I was supposed to meet him here. We 
>have lots of work to do that may take hours to finish."

CHIP: [Buster] We have to add numbers greater than ten!

>    "Awe, ya just missed him,"

DALE: [Barney O'Turrent] Well, dog-gone it, how'm I supposed to hit 
      somthin' if it don't hold still?

>                                she replied. She layed down on the 
>table and batted her lashes. "I guess he had to blow."

CHIP: Oh, he blows all right.

>    Buster looked at Plucky's paper and saw the answers were all 
>filled out.

MONTY: Granted, they were blatantly wrong, but that wasn't a big 
       shock.

>            "Whoa, did he do this?"

DALE: [Buster] I thought he knew how to use the toilet.

>    "Nah, I did. Check 'em if you want, they're all right."

MONTY: They're all feelin' better? Well, that's good.

>    Buster was just as shocked as Plucky was. "Oh man! You really ARE 
>a genius!"

CHIP: So she can add double digit numbers. Big deal.

>    "I know," she replied, with little care.
>* * * * * * **

DALE: Hey! You on the right! You're breaking the formation!

>    Back at Buster's, Boomer was just turning on the radio when Plucky 
>flew in.

DALE: And boy, were his arms tired!
MONTY: [rimshot]
DALE: Thank you! You're a beautiful audience!

>         He fluttered around a bit and landed on the bed with a sigh. 
>"I think she likes me," he sighed.
>    "Who?" asked Boomer.

CHIP: Kathy Lee.

>    Plucky sat up. "Where's Buster?"
>    "He's gone to meet you," replied Boomer as he adjusted the tuner 
>to a station he liked.

CHIP: They're able to get Brazilian stations in Acme Acres? Impressive.

>                       "Now who likes you?"
>    "Zuccini,"

CHIP: Well, if we're going to have periods where commas go, we might 
      as well have commas where periods should be. Just to be fair.

>    Boomer froze.

MONTY: Stop messin' with the Freeze Ray, Plucky.

>                   His ears stiffened and his paws clenched to form a 
>fist.

CHIP: Why is rigor mortis setting in?
MONTY: He's dead, obviously.
DALE: Braindead?
CHIP: Hmmm... too early to say for sure, but keep it in mind.

>      A song by Three Dog Night came on and the stereo blared 'One Is 
>the Loneliest Number'. Boomer turned to Plucky and looked coldly at 
>him. "What makes you say that?"

CHIP: Well, you see, there is this thing called "vocal chords", which 
      when used in conjunction with objects known as "teeth" and a 
      "tongue", can produce various sounds and noises representing 
      mental ideas and expressions.

>    "She got sexy for me!" he sighed. He was surprised to hear Boomer 
>laugh.
>    "Ah, she does that to everybody.

MONTY: [Boomer] She's a tramp. A hussy. A harlot. You know.

>                                      Don't get me wrong, she's no 
>flirt, but occasionally, she 'just can't help herself'."

DALE: She's left mauled bodies all across the states!
MONTY: But... isn't that the definition of a flirt?

>    Plucky frowned in disappointment as the radio played the song. 
>"...One is the loneliest number that you ever knew..."

DALE: Isn't that a jingle for Certs?

>    "Wanna carrot soda?"

MONTY: Faygo's really gettin' diverse in their flavors, aren't they?

>    "Ewww! No thanks!"
>    "Sorry. It's all Buster's got."
>    "Tell me about it. That rabbit's got a craving for carrots that 
>puts Bugs Bunny to shame."
>    Just then, who should pop his furry lil' head down the hole but 

MONTY: Wolfman Jack!
CHIP: Smokey the Bear!
DALE: Randy Savage!

>Buster Bunny.

ALL: Oh.

>              "So sue me, I'm a hare, what'd you expect?"

MONTY: Some originality, maybe.
CHIP: Actually, if he lives underground, he's not a hare. But we digress....

>    As he hopped in, Zuccini followed. "We figured we'd find you 
>here."

MONTY: [Zuccini] There only being five sets or so.

>    She glanced over to Plucky and gave him a quick wink. He blushed a 
>little and hid his head under a pillow. Boomer rolled his eyes.

DALE: Buster picked them up and placed them in his marble bag.

>                                                                "You 
>and your waterfowl."
>    "Hey you guys, we're gonna go see how the girls are doing with 
>Aurora and Olivia. Wanna come?"

CHIP: Good idea... whoever said that.

>* * * * * * * * *

CHIP: [Boomer] We'd like to, but that police line of asterisks is 
      blocking us off.

>    Babs, Fifi, and Shirley had all taken the two other oddimal girls 
>out to the Acme Mega Mall. Olivia had a load of cash and paid for 
>everything the girls wanted.

MONTY: Such as the Acme Mega Mall.

>    "Man! You're richer than Monty, Olivia!"

MONTY: Not surprisin'. I'm only a mouse, after all.

>                                              exclaimed Babs as they 
>sat down in the food court for a quick bite.

DALE: Who'd they bite?

>                                             "Where'd you get all this 
>dough?"

DALE: [Olivia] I work in a bakery.

>    Olivia slurped a little at her soda and then set it down. "Well, I 
>_am_ royalty."

CHIP: A royal pain, maybe.

>    Shirley dropped her tofu burger. "No way! I had, like, no idea you 
>were a princess!"
>    Fifi was rather envious of Olivia. She peeked over her bagel and 
>gleamed at her.

DALE: "Gleamed"?
CHIP: Fifi gave herself a fresh coat of wax earlier, I guess.

>  Olivia was a beautiful otter. She had aqua colored fur with pink 
>breast and belly. She wore a pink headband on her head and had a thick 
>head

DALE: 'Nuff said.

>     of hair, but it was cut short so that it hung just below her ear. 
>Her bangs hung similar to Fifi's over one eye. Her eyes were mulberry 
>in color and she had long, thick lashes. Her nose was small and pink. 

CHIP: She enjoys volleyball, surfing, and buying out General Motors. 
      ISO single furry toon with no backbone and a vacant cranium.

>She had a short muzzle and her bottom lip was pink. She was slimmer 
>than Fifi and her legs were slightly longer and more shapely. Fifi's 
>chest was fluffy, but Olivia's was smooth and slightly more formed. If 
>you were to cross Minerva Mink with Fifi LaFume,

MONTY: You've let your fantasies get out of hand.

>                                                 you'd get an idea of 
>what Olivia's body would be like.
>    "Hey, Shirley,

CHIP: [singing] This is Squirrely!

>                    is that tofu?"

MONTY: Actually, it's couch foam, but it tastes the same.

>                                   asked Olivia, pointing at the loon's 
>burger.
>    Fifi squeezed her bagel and it crumbled.

CHIP: This message was brought to you by the Newton Club of Physical Law
      Demonstrators.
DALE: Is that Nowak guy around?
CHIP: Do you want to kill yourself?
DALE: No... I guess he isn't.

>                                              Even her voice was sexy. 
>Olivia sounded something like Margo Mallard and 

DALE: Bobcat Goldthwait.

>                                                Rubella Rat mixed. If 
>this was an actual show, the great Kath Soucie would probably have 

CHIP: Steered clear of it like the plague.

>lended her voice for Olivia.

DALE: I guess you could say she gave her voice up for "lent"! Hah!
CHIP: Arghhhh....

>    "Hey, Fifi, are you okay?" asked Aurora.

MONTY: Relativity speakin'.

>    Fifi nodded. She really liked Aurora. She wasn't competition, as 
>Olivia was.

DALE: She knew her place.

>            Instead, the bunny/ wolverine hybrid was cute. Dot Warner 
>would have had a tough time competing, but Fifi had nothing to fear.

CHIP: As long as the judges were blind.

>    Aurora was all white except for her eyes and the distinctive 
>blonde wolverine strip that led from her bangs to her tail. Her hair 
>was like Lola Bunny's but bouncier.

DALE: And for those of you who can't recall what Lola looks like 
      offhand, suffice to say her hair was less bouncy than Aurora's.
CHIP: Thanks a heap.

>                                    Her tail was that of a wolverines; 
>medium sized, fluffy, and slightly curled. She wore a lavender jumper 
>and a bow on her head to match.

MONTY: She carried the arrows in her hip.

>                                Her feet were as big as any rabbit she 
>knew and her cheeks were as fluffy as any, too.

CHIP: Going for the conformist image, I see.

>                                                She had pretty blue 
>eyes, but instead of having just a blue iris, her pupil and iris seemed 
>connected and was all blue, like how Buster's is all black.

DALE: Hey, that reminds me; did you guys know that if an anime
      character's eyes stop reflecting light, it means their minds
      are under control?
MONTY: Er, can't say as I did, mate.
CHIP: Uh, yeah, Dale. Thanks... for the info.

[Chip and Monty exchange glances.]

>                                                            Her nose 
>was small and white and she had a rabbit's buck tooth.

DALE: Not hers, but that's another story.

>                                                       Her ears weren't 
>nearly as long as Babs's and instead of sticking strait up,

CHIP: They were a geographical location?

>                                                            they hung 
>back behind her bow. She was cute as a button.

MONTY: There. It's been stated. What more do you what?

>    "Like, wow! I didn't know you liked tofu, too!" exclaimed Shirley 
>as she noticed Olivia's salad was

DALE: Moving on its own.

>                                  seaweed.
>    "Yeah, well, we otters seem to go for anything from under the 
>sea."

CHIP: All that decaying muck on the ocean floor is real appealing, all 
      right.

>    At this, Olivia pulled down a scenery of the ocean bottom.

DALE: Hey, look at all the toxic waste barrels!

>                                                                She 
>whirled around and appeared in a mermaid outfit. Her hair became long 
>and flowing and she began to sing. "Down here all the fish is happy, 

DALE: [singing] Because they're too dumb to care....

>which makes for a real nice snack!
>They is all nice and crunchy.

MONTY: [singing] And have that raw sewage flavor....

>But fun is what they seem to lack.
>I came up to the land of no sea,

CHIP: [singing] To see what I could see....

>and joined all the oddimals.
>And as you will all soon see-"
>
>    "You is sure full of bull," finished Aurora. She pulled up the 
>backdrop and Olivia went back to her normal self.

MONTY: So to speak.

>                                                  Babs clapped.
>    "So, what did ya think?" asked the pleased marine mammal.

CHIP: [Mall Shopper] Hey, would you come to my kid's birthday party?
DALE: [Mall Shopper] Heck, would you come to *my* birthday party?

>    "You have a great voice!" exclaimed Babs. It was true. Olivia sang 
>very nicely. Fifi got up at about this time.

MONTY: Time to order that voodoo doll.

>    "If vou don't mind, I zink I shall leave. Mon welcome has been 
>worn."
>    She walked away from the table and exited the mall. Olivia 
>shrugged. "I don't know what her problem was."

DALE: [Olivia] You'd think she had a problem being shown up.

>    "Yeah," added Aurora. "And what was she talking about? She doesn't 
>wear anything..."

CHIP: That may be the problem she was having.

>* * * * * * * *
>    "Now, Bandit, are you sure you've cooked before?"
>    The little guy nodded stupidly and Hamton smiled. He handed him a 
>chef's hat and Bandit got out some cake mix. He poured, stirred, and 
>baked. In less time it takes Hamton, Bandit had a cake.

MONTY: Orderin' it from Baker's Square doesn't count.

>    "Wow! You sure _can_ bake!" exclaimed the little pig. He stuck his 
>finger inside the icing mix Bandit had made and licked it. "Mmm, my 
>favorite!"

DALE: [Hamton] Trough flavor!

>    "Cheesecake ala strawberry, my own recipe," noted Bandit.

MONTY: [Bandit] Now I'll make my deep-fried pork rinds....

>    Bandit was a cross between opossum and raccoon.

DALE: Who are these guys? The rejected cast from "The Wuzzles"?
CHIP: Either that or Dr. Gene Splicer has been camping out in God's
      domain again.
MONTY: "Camp" is right....

>                                                     He had gray fur 
>with a brown band around his collar, wrists, ankles, and ears. His eyes 
>were masked like a raccoons in brown and his tail, though bare, also 
>had several little rings.

MONTY: Some in white gold, some silver-inlaid.

>                          His nose was bright red and he wore a 
>raspberry colored cap.

DALE: [singing] He wore a raspberry beret....

>                       It wasn't a ball cap, more like a cap a kid 
>would wear in 1920.

CHIP: Do the name research yourself.

>                    He spoke with a cute British accent and laughed a 
>little like Hamton.

MONTY: And belched a lot like Zorak.

>    "Where do we meet the others?" asked the little hybrid.
>    "Weenie Burger. It's a fast food joint."

CHIP: And suffers from a multiple personality disorder, to boot.

>    "Spew!"
>    At that moment, a small brown squirrel stepped in. "Hey! That's my 
>line!"

DALE: Hey! What's Tammy doing there?!

>* * * * * * * * 
>    "Le boo, le hoo, le boo hoo!"

MONTY: Betty Boop with a head cold.

>                                   sobbed Fifi. She was crying alone on 
>a park bench when a familiar figure walked up.

DALE: Chuck from "Love Connection"?

>    "So, I see you've met Olivia," he said. Fifi looked up. It was 
>Boomer.

CHIP: Strangers she just met are familiar?
MONTY: She's always ready for a date, isn't she?

>        "It's okay, kiddo, she does that to everybody. There was this 
>gal named Judy. Now, at this time, she was--"

MONTY: [Boomer] Dead.

>    "Do you zink Ah am pretty?" asked the skunkette. Boomer sat down 
>next to her.

DALE: [Boomer] "Do blue zinc a ham pretty?" What?

>    "You bet."

MONTY: He's bluffin'.

>    "Prettier than Olivia?"

CHIP: [Boomer] In the dark, maybe.

>    Boomer sighed. "That's a toughie. Ol' has some smooth curves, but 
>I think you're cuter."
>    "Really? Zis is not some joke?"
>    "Nah, no joke. I see Ol' every day. She doesn't faze me a bit. 

CHIP: [Boomer] Not even when she tears the spines out of strangers. 
      Kind of amusing, really.

>Maybe she used too, but I have my sights set on somebody more... 

DALE: [Boomer] Sleazy.

>intelligent."
>    "Who?"
>    Boomer stared at his blue shoes.

DALE: [singing] Don't stare at my blue suede shoes!

>                                      He felt really awkward, but he 

CHIP: Was used to feeling that way around females.

>straightened up and whispered to Fifi who he liked.
>    "Vou like Zu--"

DALE: [singing] I like Zu, you like Zu, everybody likes Zu!

>    "Shh," shushed the dog. "Yeah, I like her. Don't spread it around, 
>though. I know she doesn't like me that way."

MONTY: She doesn't like you in *any* way.

>    "Maybe she does."
>    "No, no, no. Zuzu doesn't go for mushy love stuff. I really ought 
>to find somebody that does. I'm quite the romancer, it's in my blood."

CHIP: [Boomer] I'm a vampire who only feeds on authors of romance 
      novels. I consider it a public service.

>    Fifi smiled a seductive grin.

DALE: Make up your mind! Did she smile or grin?

>                                   She leaned over and kissed him on 
>the cheek. "Zat's funny, because I most certainly like eet."
>* * * * * * * *
>
>    Later on, the gang assembled at Weenie Burger. Everybody was there 
>except Furrball and Jinx...

MONTY: The author havin' forgotten all about them.

>    "Where are those two?" thought Aurora aloud.
>
>    :::Somewhere in an alley far away:::

DALE: [hums the "Star Wars" theme]

>
>    "Now now, Mr. Kitty. You don't want to eat me," cringed the 
>helpless bat. Furrball approached him. "C'mon, now, uh, d-don't you 
>want a nice j-juicy b-b-bird instead?"

DALE: That's it. This *is* Torgo!

>    Furrball continued to salivate. He took out a salt shaker and 
>sprinkled it on Jinx.

CHIP: He's sprinkling the shaker on Jinx?
MONTY: He's a cat. No accountin' for their taste.

>                      He licked his lips as he stared at his prey.

DALE: Attempting to hypnotize Jinx first.

>  Jinx was a small bat that had dark brown wings,

ALL: AARRRGGGHHHH!
CHIP: We're trapped in a "Personals" ad gone haywire!

>                                                  ears, and a dark 
>brown tuft of fur on the tip of his bare rat tail. His stomach, cheeks, 
>feet, and muzzle were peach, like his tail. He had large, frightened 
>eyes, and the part that's normally white was yellow.

CHIP: Oh, you mean the "whites" of the eyes?
MONTY: Yeah, that's real hard term to remember, all right.

>                                                     His fur was a 
>brown color and he wore a little red bandanna around his neck with the 
>ties in front.

DALE: How many ties was he wearing, then?

>               He kept his wings folded behind his back and slouched 
>when he walked. Like rats have, he had a large buck tooth that was 
>always prominent. He was a pitiful creature.

MONTY: He was the last to be described for that reason.

>    "Oh, fine," thought Jinx. He undid his bandanna and tied it around 
>his eyes as a blindfold. "Good-bye, cruel world. It was rotten on 
>earth, but I suppose the afterlife is

MONTY: Worse.
DALE: I know Nowak's around here somewhere....

>                                      a better place for us 
>defenseless, pitiful creatures anyways."
>    Furrball stopped drooling and raised Jinx up to his face.

CHIP: Upon smelling him, Furrball decided Jinx wasn't really that 
      appealing.

>                                                               The 
>little guy was still blindfolded and quivering from fear. Furrball felt 
>his eyes get moist.

DALE: It was raining.

>                    He, too, was an unloved, pitiful soul left to 
>wander aimlessly. He set the little creature down and began sobbing.

MONTY: Aw.... he's all out of tartar sauce.

>    "Awe,

CHIP: Who's in awe of what?
DALE: Why?
CHIP: I don't know--
DALE: Third base!

>           the world does you no justice either, huh?" Jinx said as he 
>raised his bandanna.
>     Furrball, with salty cheeks,

MONTY: And sugary lips.

>                                   meowed an "Uh-huh."
>    "It's a conspiracy."

DALE: Thank you, agent Mulder.

>    They both clutched each other and shook with fear.
>

MONTY: But enough of that.
CHIP: So was that supposed to be heartwarming or saddening?

>
>    ::: back at Weenie Burger::::
>
>    "Oh no," grumbled Babs. "Look who's here."

CHIP: The colon squad had surrounded Weenie Burger.

>    The group turned to see Montana Max enter with Dizzy Devil and 
>Calamity Coyote. He walked by the table and laughed.

DALE: [Montana Max] Hah! You call that a clean tabletop?
CHIP: Picking on that poor, defenseless dining furniture. Shame!

>    "Hey look! It's the no-money bunnies and their friends, the 
>Wuzzles!"

DALE: Ah, my earlier guess was correct.
CHIP: Unfortunately.

>  Calamity and Dizzy laughed.

DALE: [Dizzy] HAhahaHAHhahaHahha!
MONTY: {Calamity] ....

>    "Hey!" shouted Boomer. "Nobody compares us to Disney programming 
>and gets away with it!"

CHIP: I'd be sore, too, if I was even turned down for a part in the 
      Wuzzles.

>    Monty smirked. "Oh, what's the big tough dog gonna do about it?"

DALE: He sheds like nobody's business, for one.

>    "C'mon, Boomer," settled Buster. "Let's not get into any fights."

CHIP: [Buster] That's what the hitmen are for. Did you already forget 
      what I told you?

>    "What's the matter? I can take him!"

MONTY: Please do.

>                                          shouted Aurora. The Tiny 
>Toons all laughed.
>    "Okay, rabbit. You want your chance? Fine. Your best man against 
>our best man," Then Monty laughed.

CHIP: [Montana Max] I had to finish my line before I could find it 
      humorous.

>                                   "Or in this case, your best bunny."

MONTY: There's a rabbit marriage takin' place?

>    Olivia, Zuccini, Boomer, and Bandit gasped and stared at Aurora. 
>Her fur turned to bright red and her eyes glowed. Her ears stood 
>straight up and she clutched her fists.

DALE: Is she suppose to be auditioning for a role in "Night of the 
      Lepus"?

>                                        Plucky leaned over to Zuzu. 
>"What's going on?" he asked, cautiously. Zuzu ignored him and started 
>to tremble.

CHIP: The restaurant is on a fault line, I guess.

>    Aurora lept up onto the table and when she landed it shook like an 
>earthquake had hit.

CHIP: See?
MONTY: Nah, she's challengin' someone to a sumo match.

>                    Her teeth, which were actually quite sharp,

CHIP: What? We actually *missed* something from those detailed physical
      descriptions?
DALE: Well, I did go kinda numb during them....

>                                                                were 
>showing as she growled. Her cute body began to ripple with muscles and 
>she inhaled and exhaled with such force it shook the group.

DALE: Oh, I see. She's really the Incredible Hulk.
MONTY: [Aurora/Hulk] RraaaGGGGhhhhhHHHHHH*giggle*.

>                                                            Monty 
>didn't look the least intimidated.

MONTY: Why? Should I be?

>    "Ooh, what are you going to do? Breath your big bad carrot breath 
>on me?"

DALE: [Aurora] Well, actually, yeah.

>    The enraged oddimal hopped in front of Monty. She lifted him up by 
>the collar of his jacket and slammed him against the window. _Now_ 
>Monty was scared.

CHIP: The author had resorted to using underscores!

>                  "If you _ever_ call me a bunny again, I'll pull out 
>your tonsils and use them as a sponge to seep up all the sap in your 
>head as I crush it with my bare hands!"

DALE: Well, at least it's nice to know she's in touch with her soft, 
      feminine side.
MONTY: Tonsils don't work as sponges. I've tried it.

[Pause. Chip and Dale edge nervously away from him.]

>                                        She squeezed his neck to 
>emphasize her words.

DALE: [singing] Aurora had a Monty and his head popped off!

>    Monty cried out hoarsely. "Arnold..."

MONTY: [Montana Max] I love you.

>    A huge white pit bull entered the restaurant and approached 
>Aurora. Bandit and Hamton dove under the table. Boomer and Zuccini 
>hugged in fear. Babs, Buster, Plucky, and Shirley all had confused 
>looks.

CHIP: [Buster] Who's going to pay for all of this?

>    "You called for me, yah?" asked the pit bull. Monty nodded.
>    "Crush the rabbit!" he whimpered.

DALE: [Psycho the Weasel] Time to kill the rabbit....

>    Arnold cracked his knuckles and peered don at Aurora.

DALE: This really *is* a mafia crossover!
CHIP: No wonder "Bugsy" is here.

>                                                           He sneered. 
>"Hear me now und see me later!

DALE: [singing] I'm a kindergarten cop, predator, terminator!

>                               I vill crush you, you peunee veekling!"
>    Aurora turned around, dropping a gasping Montana Max on the 
>ground. She was about to say something, then stopped. "Yayaa, Big Boy! 
>What a man!"

MONTY: Actually, a dog, but anyway....

>    Olivia peered over at the Austrian hunk. "My!" she thought. "He 
>_is_ a big boy!"

CHIP: Olivia -- queen of observation!

>    Arnold was startled. "Vhat are you doing? You crazy, eh, vhatever 
>you are!"

DALE: Call her a Wuzzle. That's *sure* to get you on her good side.

>    "Another man from the old country! Kiss me, hunk!" exclaimed 
>Aurora.

MONTY: I thought they were from Brazil.
CHIP: They were. It doesn't seem to matter in the story, what with 
      Olivia from the sea and Boomer's so-called Australian accent.
MONTY: Oh, I thought I missed somethin'. Thanks!

>    Buster leaned over to Olivia. "What's the deal?"

DALE: [Olivia] Five-card stud. Ante up.

>    Olivia looked over to the blue bunny.

MONTY: Why so glum, chum?

>                                           "Well, Aurora has a thing 
>for European carnivores with big muscles. He'll be fine, unless he 
>calls her--"

CHIP: After ten on a weeknight.

>    "You crazy BUNNY!" exclaimed Arnold.
>    Aurora stopped chasing him and froze. She started to foam and 
>steam at the ears. Her muscles showed again and her eyes flashed red. 

DALE: Whoa, time to cut back on the steroids, there, Aurora.

>Arnold stopped to catch his breath.
>    "Well, looks like that little brat Montana is going to have to 
>find another body guard," said Olivia. Buster and Babs just glanced at 
>each other, both confused.

MONTY: [Buster] Who's line is it?

>    Suddenly, Aurora leaped at Arnold and flung him onto the ground. 
>She took hold of his neck and started to squeeze it with all her might. 

DALE: [ringside announcer] She's got him in a head lock, now gets him 
      up for a body slam! Oh, now she's going off the ropes -- *down* 
      with the big leg! Oooo, what a match!

>Arnold turned blue in the face, but before he could cry for help, a 
>cloud of dust formed where Aurora was.

MONTY: Pigpen had arrived.

>                                       It formed on Arnold now and you 
>could occasionally see Aurora's head pop out with her viscious teeth. 

ALL: Ewww....
DALE: I hear she came *this* close to landing Jan's role in "The Brain 
      that wouldn't Die".

>Plucky cringed at the sound of Arnold screaming with pain. Buster and 
>Babs joined Hamton and Bandit under the table

MONTY: With Elmer's fast-acting glue!
DALE: Elmer Fudd's?
CHIP: Help me.

>                                              and Shirley froze with 
>horror. The oddimals just sat eating their food.

CHIP: [Boomer] Our friend is about to comment another moral crime. Oh 
      well -- pass the salt.

>    When Aurora stopped bashing Arnold, the cloud disappeared and 
>Arnold sat on the ground, a puddle of wounds. His glasses had broken 
>along with every bone in his body.

DALE: Even his "dog-bone"? Hah!
CHIP: Argh!

>                                   Aurora stepped lightly off of him 
>and as she walked over to her booth, she turned back and whispered, 

MONTY: [Aurora] Get Met. It pays.

>"Don't _ever_ call me 'bunny', 'kay?"

DALE: [Aurora] You call me 'freak', got it?

>* * * * * * * * *
>
>    Montana Max had managed to slip away with his life.

CHIP: In short, nothing of value.

>                                                         He, Dizzy, and 
>Calamity had trotted off to somebody's house to ask of a request...

CHIP: [Montana Max] Mr. Spielberg? We want to be let go from our 
      contracts.

>    "Hello, Monty-wonty! Now, what can I get you, snugglebear?" asked 
>Elmyra as Monty entered her house. He saw dozens of cages with poor 
>unfortunate animals hiding behind their bars. Calamity and Dizzy sat 
>shaking in the doorway.

DALE: Just out of curiosity, since when were Calamity and Dizzy underlings to
      Montana Max?
CHIP: Oh well, they... I mean, that is... you see... uh, well, I don't know.
MONTY: At least Zucccini gave 'em all the best lines.

>    "All right, you hairbrains! You can go home!"
>    When Monty dismissed them, Calamity and Dizzy took off down the 
>road. They didn't want to stay around Elmyra's house any longer!

DALE: [Dizzy] Finally, we're out of this fanfic!
MONTY: [Calamity] ....

>    "Look, Elmyra, I got a small favor--

CHIP: [Montana max] I need your spinal cord for an hour.

>                                          stop messing with my hair!" 
>screamed Monty.
>    Elmyra put her comb back in her pocket. "Tee hee! Sorry, honey. I 
>just wanted to fix up your hair! It's _so_ messy!"

MONTY: [Elmyra] Where'd all the dog blood come from, anyway?

>    Monty shuttered. "Yeah, yeah. Anyways, there are these animals 
>and--"

CHIP: [Montana Max] They breathe, and eat and sleep. And are part of an
      ecosystem or something.

>    "Oooooh! Animals for me to love and to squeeze?" exclaimed Elmyra.

DALE: Why doesn't anyone get her a porcupine, then?

>    "Uh, yeah, animals for you to squeeze. Tomorrow at school, you 
>can--"

MONTY: [Montana Max] Shake down the first graders for me.

>    "Fuzzy-wuzzy heads for me to play with and love and perform 
>experiments on!" Elmyra clapped and jumped up in down

DALE: She was leaping into duck feathers?
CHIP: Don't ask. Just, don't ask.

>                                                      with joy.
>    "Meet me at the monkey bars at school tomorrow after lunch. I'll 
>be there with your,

MONTY: Noose.

>                    uh, 'fuzzy wuzzy heads'," Monty told Elmyra. She 
>agreed and he ran home before she could grab him for a nice little 
>squeeze.

CHIP: A nice little squeeze for the mean little brat. Aw....

>* * * * * * * * * 
>
>    The next day at school had been rather interesting for the 
>oddimals. They had, of course, never been to school and this was a 
>whole new experience for them.

CHIP: As was their acting skills, obviously.

>    "Wow! Is that Bugs Bunny?" shouted Zuzu. When Buster nodded, she 
>rushed over to him. "Bugs! Hi! Where's Lola? Are you two gonna get 
>married? Is there gonna be a Bugs Bunny show? Daffy's getting a show. 
>Is Daffy single? Would he ever go for me? Do my ears look okay? Did you 
>know I'm over a million years old? This is a nice school! Did you build 
>it yourself? I had coffee today. Not a bright thing to do, huh? Hello."

CHIP: Did you know the sun is hot? I like tacos! You can make mud from 
      dirt and water.

>    Bugs blinked with astonishment. He didn't know what to say. "Neh, 
>what's up, doc?"

DALE: [Bugs(y)] Where's da fifty G's yous owes me?

>    Zuzu smiled. "That's all I wanted to hear! Thanks!"
>    She hopped away and Bugs walked on, puzzled.
>

MONTY: [Bugs(y)] Was dere a point to dat scene?

>    At lunch time, Zuccini and Plucky were quietly talking. They had 
>sat away from the others to try to get to know each other better.
>    "So, Zuzu,

DALE: [Plucky] How long have you been a freak?

>                what's the most irresistible feature about me, my 
>stunning profile or my lovable self?"

CHIP: [Plucky] Or the way I soak everyone in a five foot radius with 
      my spittle?

>                                      asked Plucky. Zuzu just sorta 
>glanced at Boomer. He and Fifi were sharing an ice-cream sundae. She 
>sighed.
>    "I do so love ice-cream." she said.
>    "You don't miss Boomer, do you?"
>    She turned to Plucky. "No,

MONTY: [Zuccini] My aim's much better these days.

>                                I like ice-cream. Be a doll and get me 
>some."
>    Plucky nodded and went to get her a shake. She did miss Boomer, 
>but not the way you would think.

CHIP: Oh please, tell us how we should think.

>                                 She liked arguing with him, and they 
>hadn't fought once this whole trip.

DALE: She missed putting him in his place. Isn't that sweet?

>                                    When Plucky returned, she grabbed 
>the shake and slurped eagerly. Plucky frowned and looked at her tray. 

CHIP: [Plucky] Did you have to order Peking duck?

>She had eaten most of the cafeterias food. "You sure do eat a lot," 
>Plucky pointed out.

MONTY: At a loss for anythin' else to say.

>    Zuccini looked up from her shake. "Well, I _have_ been frozen in a 
>block of ice most of my life,

CHIP: Any chance that the reader will learn how or why?

>                              so yeah, a girl does get kinda hungry."
>    Plucky raised his hands to show no offense and Zuzu smiled to show 
>none was taken. Sh

MONTY: Shhh. This is the important part.

>                   then explained how she got frozen in the first 
>place.

CHIP: Which isn't worth bothering the reader's time with. Must have been
      left out so all those descriptions could fit.

>    "Wow, millions of years in ice. So what are you, like, the first 
>mammal on earth?"

MONTY: [Zuccini] Actually, I think Keith Richards has me beat.
DALE: Him or John Carradine.

>    She nodded. "One of them. I'm not sure what order I belong to. We 
>just say 'Category Other', or 'C.O'. It's easier on us."

CHIP: Who's "us"?
MONTY: Who cares?
CHIP: Point.

>    She then took out a sign from nowhere and held it up. 
>"Http://members.aol.com/Oddimals,"
>    She took it away and grinned. "Heh heh, plug."

CHIP: Please *pull* the plug.

>
>
>    Fifi and Boomer were getting along nicely. He didn't mind her 
>smell and she didn't mind his odd appearance.

DALE: [Boomer] You stink.
CHIP: [Fifi] You're ugly.
MONTY: Yeah, sounds like a blossomin' romance, all right.

>    "You know, I do so love your accent!" she smiled to him.
>    "My accent?

MONTY: [Boomer] I have one?

>                 I like yours!" he replied.
>    Fifi giggled. "I also like your sense of humor,"

DALE: He was joking about liking her accent?

>    He gently kissed her on the cheek and she held him closer. "Yeah, 
>well, I'm not always funny.

CHIP: [Boomer] Usually I'm pretty dull.

>                            Not when I was with Zuzu. No, she was the 
>funny one then."
>    Fifi frowned a little. "You still like her, don't you?" she asked.
>    "Maybe just a little. I mean, well, you know," he replied as best 
>he could.

CHIP: I think he just officially "ruined the moment", don't you?

>    The lovely skunk stepped away from Boomer. "Perhaps I cannot 
>compete. I really should stick to mon own kind, nov?"

DALE: Purple skunks? You'll be looking for a long time, hon.

>    Boomer got up to follow her as she walked out of the cafeteria but 
>just sat back down.

MONTY: [Boomer] Oops! Better eat this ice-cream before it melts!

>                    He did miss Zuzu, and he loved her more than Fifi. 
>But he really wanted to go somewhere with that skunkette;

DALE: Does *everyone* have a crush on Sabrina?

>                                                          she was nice, 
>lovable, gorgeous, and had a great voice. Boomer began to sing to 
>himself.

CHIP: Seeing as how everyone else ran from the room.

>"Gee, look at me,

DALE: [singing] I'm as helpless as a dog-type thing up a tree....

>I'm caught between two,
>should I go for Fifi,
>or stick with Zuzu?

DALE: [singing] Or try Memorex?

>
>I know Fifi likes me more,
>She probably always will.

MONTY: [singing] That potion I slipped her is guaranteed for a 
       lifetime.

>And she certainly aint a bore,
>I'd get further with her, but still...

DALE: Exactly *how* far?

>
>I love Zuccini's walk,

CHIP: [singing] Her driveway's nice, too.

>I love how she talks.
>I love her innocent smile,
>though she's no queen of the Nile,

CHIP: [singing] But she is the queen of denial....
DALE: And you complain about *my* puns?

>I really can't tell,
>if we go too well.

DALE: [singing] During our Jack and Jill re-enactments....

>
>I'm so confused!

CHIP: Get used to it, bud.

>Who should I choose?"
>
>    Shirley stepped up to Boomer and patted him on the back. "Like, go 
>with your feelings, dude!

DALE: [Shirley] They won't, like, dump you like the others!

>                          Let it be your guide!"
>    Music began to play. It was old Native American music with 
>somebody in the background singing.

DALE: [singing] Just around the river bend....

>                                    Boomer turned and saw Olivia 
>singing.
>"Kway, kway,
> not too fast,
>you will understand!"

MONTY: Understand what? There's some much to confuse us!

>    She repeated this as Shirley began to sing.
>"Like, listen with your heart,
>you will understand!
>Push away your mind,

DALE: Use the Force....

>you will totally understand!

CHIP: I can tell Zuccini just sweated over this part of the lyrics.

>
>Let it break apon you,
>like an anvil on your head!

MONTY: Ouch.
CHIP: Hey, love hurts.

>Block away your mind,
>use your heart instead!
>Totally!"
>    Shirley was then hauled off the school grounds by some guys from 
>Disney.

CHIP: There *is* justice in the world.

>        Boomer looked confused at Olivia. She nodded. "You know what to 
>do!"

DALE: [Boomer] Yep! I'm gonna do it! I'm switching *back* to using 
      *butter*!

>
>    Boomer was about to rush out after Fifi, but Monty stepped in his 
>way. "Watch it, ya dumb mutt!"
>    Monty walked on Boomer over to a table and took out his lunch.

CHIP: Boomer remained on the ground, having forgotten his stage 
      directions.

>                                                                    He 
>began furiously eating it as if in a hurry. But as he tried to take a 
>sip from his soda, he coughed and sputtered.

CHIP: Someone had laced it with Arsenic again! Those wacky toons and 
      their lethal poison gags!

>                                             At of the soda came

MONTY: What?
DALE: Maybe she's switched to writing in old English style, or 
      something.
CHIP: At of the soda, yonder hither forth the carbonation of sugar-
      enriched flavorful beverage.
DALE: Uhm, right.
 
>Zuccini with a scuba mask on.

DALE: Any relation to "Devil with a blue dress on"?

>    "I hate getting wet!" she exclaimed. She reached back in his drink 
>and pulled out her shake.

DALE: Giving everyone else the shakes.

>    "What are you, anyways?" asked Monty as he whiped his face off.

CHIP: I've heard of people whipping off their jewelry before a fight, 
      but this is too much.

>    "I'll give you a hint," she replied. She took a big, long sip of 
>her shake until her cheeks were filled with vanilla ice-cream.

CHIP: Montana, you might want to duck.

>                                                               She set 
>her drink down and put her two pointing fingers to her cheeks.

DALE: If he can't see this coming, he deserves it.

>                                                               With a 
>huge amount of force, she pushed in and her drink went all over Monty. 
>"I'm a zit! Get it?"

CHIP: Some authors quote Shakespeare. We get "Animal House".
DALE: Try that with a real zit, next time, Zuccini, and see how many 
      people find it amusing.

>    The cafeteria roared with laughter as Monty whiped away her 
>"visual".

DALE: [makes whip cracking noises]
MONTY: [Montana Max] Back! Back, I say!

>          He gritted his teeth and stared t her.

DALE: Hey, he's got that stare down to a "T", huh?

>                                                 She smiled at him with 
>an angelic look. "Look, you, do you know who you're dealing with?"

CHIP: We don't even know who's *speaking*, here.

>    "Sure, a maladjusted brat with a loaded wallet and an empty head. 
>Why?"

MONTY: 'Cause we like you!

>    Again the room howled.

DALE: The full moon was out.

>                           Monty growled at Zuccini. "Are you gonna 
>eat that?" she asked, pointing at his shake covered sandwich.
>    Monty raised his arms as if to

CHIP: Conjure up the demon spirits from the netherworlds.

>                                    catch Zuzu but she took off like a 
>bullet. She reached her hand back to grab Monty's food and then raced 
>off again with Monty trailing far behind.

DALE: I guess he really *did* want to eat that sandwich, huh?

>                                          They raced out of the 
>cafeteria and around the nearby playground and training area. Zuccini, 
>who was just a green blur,

ALL: [chanting] Fo-cus! Fo-cus!

>                           raced around the monkey bars. Elmyra was 
>sitting by the monkey bars when she felt the wind from Zuccini.

ALL: EWWWWW!
DALE: Lay off the bean burritos, Zuccini!

>    "Goodness! What was that?"

MONTY: Indigestion.

>    She forgot what she said when she saw Monty race up to her. He 
>grabbed him and hugged him.

DALE: Montana Max loves himself, so now he's ready to love others.

>    "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" he shouted. He gagged as Elmyra 
>squeezed him.

DALE: Is she expecting a toy prize to pop out of his head or something?

>    "Monty, baby, you almost set off the trap I made."
>    Monty looked confused. "What trap?"
>
>    At that moment, all the oddimals came out to look for Zuccini. 

CHIP: They were making Zuccini bread.

>Suddenly, a cage popped up out of nowhere and captured the five.

CHIP: Ben Folds Five?
MONTY: Jackson Five?
DALE: Partridge Family Five?

>                                                                 They 
>all screamed and struggled to get out, but it was no use.
>    "That trap," smiled Elmyra coyly. Monty laughed.
>
>:::::::::::::::

CHIP: Tear along perforation.

>               What will happen to our friends? Will Elmyra squeeze 
>them to death? Will she love them to pieces?

MONTY: Will they be buried by question marks?

>                                             And will Sneezer ever get 
>a tissue? Find out next week in "Trapped Like Oddimals" or "Hmm, That's 
>Odd!"::::::::::::::::

DALE: Uh, Zucccini? Your colons are dragging....

>
>
>    "Nah, we wouldn't leave ya hangin' like that!" assured Zuzu.

CHIP: [Zuzu] Not without this rope, anyways. Try it on!

>                                                                  She 
>skipped over to the bleachers to watch Elmyra take the cage with her 
>friends inside on her bus to go home.

CHIP: There must have been a comma shortage when she wrote that line.

>                                      Monty climbed onto his own bus 
>and drove home.

MONTY: He's a bus driver?
DALE: He's got the right temperament for it.

>                Zuccini thought a moment. "I guess this means it's up 
>to me to do something heroic and clever to save my friends.

DALE: [Zuccini] They're as good as dead.

>                                                            Fair 
>enough."
>
>
>    Back inside the cafeteria, the gang, minus Shirley, was all 
>sitting and eating their lunches.

CHIP: Discussing new ways to break old grammar rules.

>    "Gee, I wonder where those newbies went," thought Babs.

CHIP: [Babs] I hope they weren't disturbed by all that screaming 
      that was going on, asking for help and everything. Pass the 
      mustard.

>    "Yeah, I haven't seen hide nor hair of 'em since they all ran out 
>to look for Zuccini," Buster said. "I hope nothing bad happened to 
>'em."

MONTY: [Buster] Seein' as how they're our livelihood and all.

>    At that moment, Zuccini walked by and overheard their 
>conversation. "Oh, they've been kidnapped by Elmyra and hauled off to 
>her house in a stainless steel cage. I love stainless steel. It's so... 
>stainless."

CHIP: She's a genius, all right.

>    The others gasped. Oh no! Not Elmyra's! What a catastrophe!

DALE: Uh, was someone supposed to be speaking there, or something?

>    "Oh, mon poor Boomer. He must think moi horrible, nov?" mourned 
>Fifi. Babs patted her on the back.

MONTY: [Babs] You're scum, all right.
CHIP: But... why would Boomer blame Fifi for getting captured by Elmyra?

>    "Don't worry, Feef. We'll get him back, and the others! Zuccini, 
>ya with us?"
>    But Zuzu was already out the door.

DALE: Must be time for "Charles in Charge".

>                                        No matter, they thought. 

CHIP: And no thought matters, and so on.

>Besides, nobody really thought that little gal could do much.

CHIP: Despite the fact that she shared the same name of the author.
DALE: Aside from that dead giveaway, though, they had a point.
MONTY: She's short a "c", though.
CHIP: Well, the proper spelling is actually "zucchini" to begin with,
      so I doubt it matters.

>                                                              They all 
>gathered together to plan an elaborate method of retrieving their 
>buddies.

MONTY: [Buster] We let Zuccini do all the work, then claim credit!
DALE: [Babs] Brilliant!

>* * * * * *
>
>    "So, Maximillion,

DALE: Hey, cool! We're in that classic space film!
MONTY: [hums the theme to "The Black Hole"]

>                       tell me, what exactly are you planning on doing 
>with these, what do you call them? Oddimals?"
>    "Well, I figured I'd sell them to the Exotic Circus for about a 
>million bucks. Swell huh?" replied Monty.

CHIP: Ah, another incredibly original plan cooked up, courtesy the 
      Plot-of-the-Month club.

>    The woman he had been talking to nodded her head. She had a fluffy 
>green tail and a small black nose and large emerald eyes. It was, no 
>doubt, Zuccini.

CHIP: Which naturally meant Montana Max was completely clueless to the 
      fact.

>    "Oh, ingenious, Max! Can I call you 'Max'? Splendid!" she said in 
>a snooty voice. She was wearing a blonde wig, business suit and skirt 
>and high heels.

[Dale starts to fall asleep, but Monterey elbows him back awake.]

>                "But you know, I'd offer you ten million bucks for them 
>if you gave them to me."

CHIP: [Zuccini] I'll even throw in your shake-covered sandwich -- oops! 
      Forget I said that.

>    Monty's eyes did a bizarre dance around his head and then flashed 
>dollar bill signs.

DALE: [Old man] Just slip an ol' fiver in the slot, and we'll take over 
      the world!

>                   "Uh, well, that would be negotiable!"
>    "Splendid, Max, simply mah-rvelous! When can I pick them up?" Zuzu 
>smiled.

CHIP: Whenever you're strong enough to lift them, I suppose.

>* * * * * 
>
>    "Okay, team, you know the plan," whispered Babs to Hamton, Fifi, 
>Plucky, and Buster. They were all wearing ninja costumes and had 
>huddled outside Elmyra's house. "All right, break!"

DALE: Break the house?
MONTY: Nervous breakdown?
CHIP: Breakdancing?

>    The group split up in an array of flips and somersaults. Babs 
>landed at the front door and spun around into a business woman's 
>attire. She rang the doorbell and Elmyra answered.

CHIP: Talk about your heart-pounding action scenes.

>    "Yes?"
>    "Hello, there, miss. My name is Barbara Wallace and I'm hoping 
>you're interested in animals."
>    "Oooh, you bet! I love and squeeze them and--"
>    "Spare me the details.

MONTY: For once.

>                            But getting to the point, I want to inform 
>you of the many bad things happening to animals today..."

DALE: Like being forced to appear in people's fanfics against their 
      wills.

>    As Babs spoke to the dimwitted dork, the others slipped in to 
>search for Aurora, Olivia, Bandit, Boomer, and Jinx.

CHIP: How hard can it be? Just follow the smell of contrivance.

>
>
>    "Gee, do you think Fifi hates me?" asked Boomer.
>    "Yes," they all replied.

CHIP: Interesting support group.
DALE: [new member] Hi, my name's Dale, and I--
CHIP AND MONTY: [other members] Shut up!

>                              Boomer hung his head.

CHIP: One down, five to go.

>    "I like shinies," spoke up Bandit. He twisted one of the bars on 
>the cage in order to make it shine and glimmer.

DALE: The whole cage began to glow, and next thing you know, they were 
      on their way to a soccer game on some isle.

>    "I can see that," put in Olivia. She had been cool and relaxed up 
>until then. She grabbed the little bat next to her and shook Jinx 
>rapidly. "This is your fault, you unlucky little hairball with wings!"

CHIP: She knows how to efficiently manage her stress, I see.
DALE: Just like a real princess.

>    "Olivia, calm down!" commanded Aurora. She grabbed her friend and 
>shook her a bit.

MONTY: Just enough to hear the brain rattle.

>    "But look at my hair!

CHIP: Again?!
ALL: AAAAAAAAAA!!!!

>                           It's frizzing up! And it's collecting otter 
>oils!

DALE: It just needs the Banana Cream and Ocean Breeze oils to complete 
      the set.

>      I need water! I have to swim! Must groom! Is there a beautician 
>in the house?!?!?!?!"

CHIP: Why doesn't she just use the excess punctuation marks she has?

>    The gang jumped on the panic striken mustelid to keep her quiet. 

MONTY: Beatin' her senseless.

>She panicked and then settled.

MONTY: In a pool of her own blood.
CHIP: Ewww....

>    "Don't worry, Olivia, my sweet. I still think you're the most 
>beautiful creature on earth...

DALE: [whoever's speaking] Next to Baby Spice.

>                               even with your hair frizzled."
>    Olivia looked at Bandit as he said this. She sighed and sat down 
>next to Boomer.

DALE: [Bandit] Hey, how about some sugar for me? I was the one to lie 
      so you'd feel better!

>    "Why didn't I stay as a princess? Why?"

DALE: [Boomer] Because your brother wanted that role.

>    Boomer shrugged his shoulders showing he had no clue

CHIP: As all good toon leaders should.

>                                                          and Olivia 
>rolled her eyes.
>    "D-do you think we'll e-ever get out of here?" asked Jinx.

DALE: [Jinx/Torgo] T-the Master n-needs m-m-e back by f-five.

>    "You always look at the bad things that happen. Think of the 
>positives of today! The pros, not the cons,"

MONTY: What about the professional con-men?

>                                             suggested Aurora. She had 
>remained sweet while most everyone else paced endlessly. Even Boomer, 
>who normally remained cool in such conditions, was worried.

MONTY: [Boomer] I hope I don't miss dinner.

>    "What positives? We're stuck in a cage in Elmyra's house."
>    "At least we're together."
>    "Zuccini's missing,"

DALE: [Aurora] Even better.

>    "Well, that minor part. We're all happy..."
>    Olivia laughed at Aurora's remark about everybody's morale. "Face 
>it, hon'. This is like Hell but only half as cozy.

DALE: She's been there?
CHIP: Part of a student exchange program, I think.

>                                                   We've been stuck 
>here for almost forty five minutes and already I'm about to kill each 
>and every one of you!"

CHIP: Now aware of this, the rest of the group jumped her and killed 
      her first.

>                       She glanced over to Bandit as he played with one 
>of the bars. "And I'll get rid of bar boy first!"

DALE: [Bandit] Last time I pay you a compliment!
MONTY: Maybe he's not playin' the bars in tune.

>    Bandit, startled, jumped back, still grasping the metal in his 
>paw. The mesh broke and there before them was a hole big enough to fit 
>through.

DALE: Uh, so there were bars over the cage, or a mesh?
MONTY: Yep.

>    Olivia's jaw dropped. "Who knew?"

CHIP: That jaws were modular? Not I.

>
>    They all crept out of their cell. Each one tip-toed across the 
>room until they reached the front door.

CHIP: What is the front door doing in Elmyra's room?
DALE: Maybe it's just a spare?

>                                        Just as they were about to turn 
>the knob, WHAM!

DALE: George Michael jumped in and started singing "Wake me up before 
      you go-go"!

>                It flew open and smashed them into the wall. Elmyra 
>walked in with Babs.

CHIP: [Elmyra] The experiments are going smoothly, Herr doctor, but I 
      expect problems when I remove their lungs.

>    "I have a cage full of cute and cuddly new animals. Wanna see?"
>    "That would be delightful!" Babs responded. But before Elmyra 
>could take another step, Babs slammed her into the wall... against the 
>oddimals.

MONTY: Oh, you mean those guys behind the *door*?

>          "Did you know that kidnapping was against the law?"

CHIP: But oddimalnapping was legally clear in Acme Acres, so it's really
      Babs who's in trouble.

>    "Huh?"
>    Suddenly, a handful of ninjas came crashing through every window. 
>They kicked, chopped, and made karate grunts and "heeyaaaa!" noises. 

DALE: If someone yells anything about "morphing time", I will kill them 
      all.

>Elmyra was (as always) confused.
>    <DING DONG!>

DALE: Hey, they serve snacks during this? Cool!

>    Through the confusion, Elmyra walked away from the wall, allowing 
>the smashed oddimals to slide off the wall in a goop of pain, to open 
>the door.

MONTY: While Babs and the others stood there, about as useful as 
       fenceposts.
CHIP: This was as far as their "brilliant" plan went, apparently.

>          It was Monty and Zuccini in her desquise.

CHIP: I see the infamous letter-switcher has returned for a cameo.
MONTY: He's moved from vowels to consonants. Impressive.

>    "Hey Elmigrane, gimme those oddimals!" demanded Monty as she let 
>him in. He saw the ooze next to the door and scooped it up.

MONTY: Uh, Montana, that's not the ooze you think it is.

>                                                            He handed 
>Zuzu the puddle and she rung it like a rag. One by one, the oddimals 
>dripped out.

DALE: What a bunch of drips, eh? Hah!
CHIP: No jury would convict me....

>             "Here are your oddimals, now where's my money?"
>    Zuccini winked at her friends and they knew it was her.

CHIP: Montana Max was still in "Moron-Land", though.

>                                                             "Oh, you 
>want your ten million bucks _now_, do you?"
>    As Monty nodded, Zuccini pulled off her desquise

CHIP: Whatever that may be.

>                                                      and resumed to 
>using her regular voice. "Here they are!"
>    Zuzu put her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. The ground 
>began to tremble as ten million male deer ran straight for them!

CHIP: Trampling hundreds of innocent bystanders in their path, but you 
      have to expect to lose a few during a rescue attempt.

>                                                                 The 
>oddimals and Tiny Toons just barely got out.
>    "Ooh! Millions of cutee hoofey deers for me to love!" exclaimed 
>Elmyra as her house swelled with bucks.

DALE: Don't her parents ever notice the damage their house goes 
      through?
MONTY: Considerin' that Elmyra got her intelligence from them, not 
       really.

>    Outside, everybody gathered around Zuzu.

MONTY: [Buster] Who are you again?

>    "How did you get so many deer on such short notice?" asked Buster.
>    Zuzu winked. "I've got my connections,"

CHIP: To alternate dimensions, apparently.
DALE: Maybe she's got a cloning machine tucked away.

>                                             She ran to a tree and 
>shook a young deer's hand.

MONTY: His hoof had been surgically replaced.

>                           "Thanks, Vinnie, I owe you."
>    "No sweat," he replied. "But make all checks payable to 'Bambi and 
>Company'."
>
>
>
>    Later that day, they had a big pool party to celebrate the return 
>of the oddimals. It was held at Plucky's pond, and everybody was having 
>a great time.

CHIP: Despite the atomic waste floating about in the water.

>              Olivia was an excellent swimmer, and she grabbed Buster's 

DALE: Whoa!

>glance a couple of times

DALE: Oh, whew. That's okay, then.

>                         when she dried her fur with her towel.

CHIP: [Buster] Uhm, shouldn't you go into the water *first*, before 
      drying off?
MONTY: [Olivia] Oh, is that how it works?

>    "Great party!" she told Plucky.
>    He grinned, pleased with himself.

DALE: [Plucky] I live a rich life.

>                                       He then looked over and saw Zuzu 
>sitting under a tree, reading. He hopped out and walked over to her. 
>"Come on in! Water's great!"

CHIP: [Plucky] You'll get used to the mutations! Why, I'm sure someday 
      I'll find a use for this disfigured, wart-covered tail I got.

>    Zuccini looked up from reading "Watership Down" and smiled. 
>"That's okay, toots, it's all yours."

MONTY: [Plucky] I know -- I *live* here, genius.

>    He smiled sneakily and grabbed Zuzu.

MONTY: She frowned hastily and decked him.

>                                          He ran over to the water and 
>tossed her in.

CHIP: [Plucky] Gods of the darkest water, accept this offering....

>               Buster, Babs, Hamton, and Fifi all laughed, but they 
>stopped when they saw Boomer and Aurora quickly dive in to rescue their 
>friend. But it was too late...
>    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Zuccini.

DALE: [Zuccini] I'm melting! I'm melting!

>                                                  She leaped out of the 
>water in panic and horror. She landed on the ground and she had an 
>insane look in her eye.

CHIP: Fortunately, her other eye was completely normal.

>                        She did a look-over like in the movie "Carrie" 
>(or for those of you who haven't seen it, it's like when Shirley got 
>drenched with punch in the Amazing Three).

DALE: And for those that didn't see *that* either, well, tough.

>                                           She looked at her soaking 
>fur and growled, surprisingly deep and fierce for an animal of her 
>size.

CHIP: The foley artists strike again!

>      She roared out loud and Plucky began to shake. She looked him in 
>the eye and he gulped. But instead of being angry, she simply said, 

MONTY: [Zuccini] I will pull your nerve endings out from your body 
       slowly with a pair of rusty tweezers.

>"Get me a towel, 'kay?"
>    He nodded and scrambled for a towel.

CHIP: Unable to locate one quickly, he tossed her Olivia instead.

>    "Wait, Never mind," she corrected. She shook herself like a dog, 
>but when she stopped she fluffed up twice her size. "Hmm, last time I 
>use the spin cycle."

DALE: [Zuccini] I'm sticking to my big wheel from now on.

>    As Plucky walked by, she grabbed him by the bill and softly but 
>thunderously said "Don't ever get me wet-- EVER-- again..."

MONTY: Their relationship took a nosedive at this point.

>    Boomer whispered to Babs, "It's an allergic reaction to water."

CHIP: [Boomer] She hasn't showered for over a million years.
DALE: [Babs] No wonder you're not bothered by Fifi's smell.

>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
>    "What a sensational story!"
>    "I like it!"

CHIP: [whoever's talking] "Asterisks Invade Fanfics" -- brilliant!

>    "Just sign here!"

MONTY: [Mephistopheles] You want the replacement soul option?

>    The oddimals smiled when they heard this. The network execs only 
>had to see half the tape and

DALE: Were already plotting revenge.

>                             they decided the oddimals were a 
>sensational idea for a show.

CHIP: [Exec] We got the rights from Disney to make "Wuzzles: the Next
      Generation"!

>    "Gee, I don't know what to say!" laughed Boomer.
>    One of the guys from Warner Bros. handed him a contract. "Say you 
>will!

DALE: [One of the guys from Warner Bros.] Be mine!

>      I see merchandising, movies, t-shirts, promos, advertisement 
>billboards with your faces!"

MONTY: With big red targets drawn over them.

>    Olivia stepped in. "Finally! We're being seen for what we really 
>are...

CHIP: Easy-to-exploit immigrants?

>       stars!"
>
>    Outside the office, Bugs, Buster, Babs, Plucky, Fifi, Furrball, 
>and Zuccini all sat.

MONTY: Having graduated from Obedience School with honors, they could 
       also roll over, stay, and fetch.

>    "Well, it looks like we made a deal," stated Zuzu.

DALE: [Zuzu] We'll take door number 3.

>                                                        "I guess this 
>means we'll be leaving now."
>    "So soon?" frowned Plucky.

CHIP: [Plucky] I still have more homework for you to do.

>    Zuzu nodded. "Thanks for letting us use some of you guys as 

MONTY: Stepping stones.

>characters for our cartoon."
>    Bugs clapped his paws together and pulled out a flat box. He 
>opened it and pulled out

MONTY: Lollipops for all.

>                         three diplomas. He handed them to Zuccini. 

CHIP: [Bugs(y)] Yous grad'ated wit triple honors! Tos bad de rest of 
      yous friends flunked miserably.

>"You kids deserve this! I don't think I coulda learned you so much in a 
>year as to what you showed us this week!"

CHIP: Someone should have "learned" Bugs how to speak English.

>    Zuccini grinned as she took the sheepskins

DALE: Ever wonder what happened to Little Bo Peep's flock?

>                                                from Bugs and looked 
>them over. It had been very confusing, but they had made a great demo 
>tape that obviously pleased the head honchos.

CHIP: Granted, it didn't have a single thing to do with the Oddimals, 
      but what the guys in charge didn't know couldn't hurt them.

>    Bandit and Jinx stepped into the hallway. They looked very please. 

MONTY: The others looked very thank you.

>Bandit held up a pen to Babs. "Look! They gave me a shiny!"

MONTY: Next time, mate, ask for a brain.

>    Babs nodded. She was beginning to cry.

DALE: [Babs] You're standing on my foot!

>    Jinx walked up to Furrball and gave him a quick hug. "Good luck, 
>brother!"

DALE: With ya brother. Life's rejects are we. Right on.

>    Furrball returned the hug and they both cried.

CHIP: Suddenly, Furrball can't stand to let Jinx live such a wretched 
      life and devours the bat in the blink of an eye.

>    "Bugs?" Boomer stuck his head into the hallway. "The big guys want 
>to talk to you."

CHIP: [Boomer] They mumbled something about cement shoes and the East 
      River.

>    Bugs walked in proudly as Olivia and Aurora followed Boomer into 
>the hall. There they stood and admired the pictures of

DALE: Centerfold pinups.
CHIP: Dale, do me a favor and stay away from that crow in the future.

>                                                       great animated 
>characters and their creators. Bugs, Daffy, Porky, Pepe LePew, Taz, 
>Elmer (well, he wasn't too great) and Chuck Jones, Tex Avery, Robert 
>McKimson, Friz Freleng, etcetera.

DALE: Don't you find it odd that Mel Blanc was left out of that list?
CHIP: Maybe Zucccini kept his name out of this fanfic out of respect 
      for the dead.

>    "Boomer," began Fifi. "I am so sorry. I wish I had never left you. 

MONTY: [Fifi] But I had to find my accent.

>Can you forgive moi?"
>    Boomer looked coldly at Fifi.

MONTY: [Boomer] I'm sorry. My soul is too dead to respond.

>                                   Then he took her in his arms, leaned 
>her over, and

DALE: Snapped her in half like a day-old breadstick.

>              kissed her passionately in the lips. Her tail frizzed up 
>and when he broke off the kiss, she

CHIP: Gagged and wiped her mouth vigorously.
DALE: [Chunk] Aw man, you smell like Phys-Ed!

>                                    sighed and melted.
>    Babs gave Aurora a quick hug and Buster punched Boomer playfully 
>in the shoulder.

CHIP: Friendly dislocating it.

>                 Hamton shook Bandit's hand gentleman like "good-bye" 
>and Olivia walked over to Fifi's puddle.

ALL: Ewwwwww!

>                                         "Um, Fifi?"
>    The skunk reformed and

DALE: Swore off booze for the rest of her life.

>                            looked at Olivia. "Oui?"
>    "I'm sorry we didn't get along. I guess I was sorta jealous of 
>your good looks."
>    Fifi gave Olivia an unexpected hug and they said good-bye, too.

CHIP: With a pair of switchblades.

>    Plucky was having some difficulty saying farewell to Zuccini. 

CHIP: It was difficult to speak since she had super-glued his beak shut.

>"Will you ever come back?"
>    "Plucky, I told you, I'm really not interested," replied Zuzu.

MONTY: Nobody really goes for Amway anymore, do they?

>    Everybody turned with shock. "What?" asked Plucky, hoping he'd 
>heard her wrong.
>    "I guess we just weren't meant to be. I mean, you're a duck, I'm a 
>phsyco,

DALE: Stop on by at Phsyco for all your mental instability needs! Our 
      prices are *insane*!

>        you like water, I'm scared silly of it. You get it."

CHIP: [Zuccini] Or you will, next time you start your car....

>    "But opposites attract!" he shouted. Zuzu turned and looked him in 
>the eye.

DALE: She wants to have a staredown? Odd way to say goodbye.

>         She gave him a thoughtful kiss on the bill and scampered away. 
>She and the oddimals left the building for a plane heading home.

DALE: It took all of one week to train these guys?
CHIP: Consider what the Tiny Toons had to offer in terms of experience.

>    "WAIT! COME BACK!" yelled the desperate green duck.

MONTY: Now what is Count Duckula doin' here?

>    Zuzu came up the elevator alone and walked up to him. "What?"
>    He grinned sheepishly. "I forgot,"

DALE: [Plucky] And the guy with the cue cards fell asleep again.

>    "Okay,"
>    "No, wait. Um, Shirley's doing time for that Disney thing, and

CHIP: Probably rejoicing every minute.

>                                                                    I 
>was wondering if I could, you know, ever contact you?"
>    The TTA cast stared at Zuzu, waiting for an answer.

DALE: Psst! Zuccini, that's your cue!

>                                                         Bugs walked in 
>at that moment.
>    "We did it! Acme Loo is saved!" he shouted. They all jumped for 
>joy.

MONTY: [Babs] Whoopee.
DALE: {Plucky] Rah.

>     "You toons did great teaching dese fellers how to act like a toon. 

CHIP: When?
MONTY: Don't raise a question like that now -- we might have to sit 
       through this all again.

>A+!"

CHIP: In the programming days before C++....

>     Then he turned to Zuccini. "How can we ever repay you?"
>    Zuccini smiled. She looked around at all her friends. "I dunno, 
>but if you ever figure out how, just call us.

DALE: Call them what?
CHIP: Don't tempt me.

>                                              You can reach us through 
>the operator."
>    She went down the elevator and Buster laughed.

DALE: [Buster] Wait 'till she hits that rigged button -- it'll blow 
      like a frog on a hot plate! Ha!

>                                                    "Dial 'O' for 
>Oddimals!"

CHIP: Type 'help' for Help.
MONTY: What?
CHIP: Inside joke.
MONTY: Oh.

>
>THE END!

CHIP: By far, the best line from the story.

>*****************************************

DALE: Actually, I think *that's* my favorite line....

>AUTHOR'S NOTE

DALE: B flat?

>
>    Hey!

MONTY: What?!

>          This sucks!

CHIP: Thanks for stating the obvious.

>                      But that's okay, I guess. Umm, oh yeah, my 
>oddimals guys are my own creation.

CHIP: When microbrews go horribly wrong.

>                                   Lots of "fans", shall we say,

MONTY: The voices in your head?

>                                                                 asked 
>me to write a story with a crossover between my characters and Tiny 
>Toons. Voila. But I guess you need to know my guys to understand them. 

CHIP: Maybe during those lengthy physical descriptions you could have 
      spared a line or two for some personality development?

>So, I suggest you go to http://members.aol.com/Oddimals to find out all 
>about them.

MONTY: Seein' as how they weren't important enough to elaborate on in 
       the story.

>            Sign the guestbook, it's customized especially for my page! 

DALE: Sends a ticking package to your house only days after signing!

>I'd like to hear what you think of them. Anyways, thanks for reading, 
>and I apologize for you having to read this.

CHIP: You know guys, however bizarre that was, at least she's taking 
      responsibility for the pain inflicted upon us by it.

>                                             I guess.

CHIP: Of course, I could be wrong.
DALE: Won't be the first time.
CHIP: Hey!

>                                                      Oh well. Bye!
>
>

MONTY: Is it safe?
CHIP: I think so. Come on, I need to get out of here before I start 
      acting like "The Incredible Aurora".

[ 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 6 ]

[Living Room]

CHIP: So how long are we stuck here?
DALE: I dunno.
MONTY: Gadget said somethin' about the Biosphere project. Does that help?
CHIP: [groaning] I hope not -- the Biosphere inhabitants were supposed to
      be sealed off from the world for years.
DALE: I hope they didn't seal off the bathroom, then--

[Red bulb flashes. Chip experimentally reaches out and taps it. Switch to
the Workshop.]

GADGET: Golly, guys, you seem better now. That's good to know!
FOXGLOVE: [sighing happily] And Dale seems really baffled, too....

[Living Room]

MONTY: Listen, luv, just how long are we supposed to wait here?

[Workshop]

GADGET: Gee... I never thought about the exact date.

[Living Room]

CHIP: [pensive] You didn't?

[Workshop]

FOXGLOVE: Well, I think we were thinking about as long as it takes for
          the instruments to pick up your reactions.
GADGET: [nodding] Then they just need to calculate it into scientific 
        equations for the final report.

[Living Room]

DALE: Uhm, so how long is that?

[Workshop]

[Gadget and Foxglove glance at each other and laugh nervously.]

FOXGLOVE: Well cutie, we're not sure, really. These machines here don't 
          have a manual or anything, y'know.
GADGET: Did I neglect to mention this was a Beta-test?

[Living Room]

[Chip drops his head to the tabletop, Dale collapses behind it, and 
Monterey Jack just sighs and shakes his head.]

[Workshop]

GADGET: Hmm. I wonder if we should have the machines on now to capture 
        *this* reaction?
FOXGLOVE: No problem, Gadget! Just let me turn them on... [She exits 
          to the side, then calls back] I think it's this button, right?
GADGET: [alarmed] No! Not that o--

-- FWOOSH! --

GADGET: [V.O.] Uhm, guys? We might have a problem here....
CHIP, DALE, AND MONTY: [V.O.][groan]

[End credits]

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and
situations are trademarks of and [c] copyright 199X by Best
Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Chip, Dale, Monterey Jack, 
Gadget, Zipper, and Foxglove are owned by Disney.
Fifi, Babs, Buster, Plucky, Hamton, Shirley (still doing time, I guess),
Montana Max, Elmyra, Bugs, Dizzy, Calamity, Furrball, and all other
Tiny Toons characters are [c] by Warner Brothers.
"Dial 'O' For Oddimals" and all original characters are [c] copyrighted
by Zucccini. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for 
entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights 
or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. or anyone else is intended or 
should be inferred. This post is not, in any way, shape, or form, a 
personal attack on Zucccini (although I never cared for the fruit 
much). More information on the Oddimals is available at: Http://members.aol.com/Oddimals
In addition, I highly recommend checking out her collection of
original art at: 
http://www.yerf.com/michbroo/index.htm
Send your questions and comments to Mattbat@ix.netcom.com
Thanks to John Nowak for proofreading and suggestions.
This MiSTing is [c] copyright 1998 by Matt Plotecher. Oh, and don't 
surf the 'Net in the dark.

>    "Okay, then, I'm going to say something and I want you to respond 
>in a way that'll make me look stupid.