[JOEL and the bots enter the theater.] >Six hours later, Dr. O'Connor tiredly came out. Dale was there to pounce on >him. JOEL: Chipmunks are predators? > "How is he?" CROW: [Dr. O'Connor] Delicious. (Burp) >The doctor shook his head. "We really won't know until the morning. He should >wake up by then. I think it was successful. He's very lucky to have gotten >assistance when he did; TOM: [Dr. O'Connor] And unlucky it was me. > a little while longer and it would have been too >late." Dale cringed, but walked away. The doctor and his nurses flopped down >on the couch. CROW: X-Files must be on. > Dale went to get Monterey Jack. He found him outside, watching >the stars. JOEL: Surprisingly, they were still there. > Zipper was asleep beside of JOEL: "Beside of?" > him. Monty didn't look up immediately. TOM: But ... he was looking at the stars. Aren't they up? >"How is he?" He then turned to face Dale. TOM: AND WHAT ABOUT THE STARS?! >Dale sat down beside of him. CROW: Crushing what's-his-name, the fly. JOEL: "Beside of?" > "The doc won't know 'till morning." He grew very >quiet. "Monty?" TOM: Okay, we know Dale didn't say that, because he's being quiet. >"Yes, Dale me lad?" CROW: Or not. >"Do you think he'll- " JOEL: [Dale] Notice I'm sitting on him? >"Don't say it! Don't even think it. TOM: THOUGHTCRIME! > Our Chipper will pull through. He's been >in tougher scrapes before." JOEL: [Monty] Like that time in the electric cheese grater-- TOM: Ow! > Dale was taken aback by Monty's outburst. Monty >then fell silent again. CROW: Kind of a mellow outburst, if you ask me. >"Do you think we should go tell Gadget that the doctor's finished with the >surgery?" JOEL: [Monty] No, let's let her savor the torment of waiting a bit longer. >Monty pulled his large frame off of the branch. CROW: There used to be a scroll in it, but now the scroll's on display in Catalina. > "I'll go." He left Dale there >with Zipper to contemplate the infinite number of stars. TOM: So what you're saying, then, is that they are still there. >Monty knocked insistently on Gadget's door until she pulled it open. JOEL: Well, I guess it's a good thing she wasn't asleep. > Monterey >had never seen her looking so distraught. TOM: Not since the last fanfic. CROW: Maybe she _was_ asleep. > "The doctor completed the surgery." JOEL: [Monty] Chip's gelded. >"Is he . . . ?" > >Monty didn't quite know what to say. CROW: [Monty] The doctor, or Chip? Pronouns are not your friend, love. > "We don't rightly know, Gadget luv." She >fell into his arms and began crying afresh. TOM: [Gadget] I so hoped Chip would die... > "It'll be all right, luv." CROW: [Monty] Well, actually I just said it might not be, but never mind. > Gadget >would not be consoled. TOM: So Monty shoved the crying baby off of him and went for a beer. > Monty led her over to her bed and sat her down. She >looked at him with tear stained cheeks. JOEL: Not her eyes? >"We can't lose him, Monty." TOM: Sure you can. > She wiped her eyes. "I- I- " She broke off. CROW: [exasperated] "I, I..." it's all about you, isn't it, Gadget? >"Go ahead, Gadget," he prompted. He had a feeling about what was next. JOEL: So do we. CROW: [Gadget] I am carrying his half-chipmunk mutant baby! TOM: [Gadget] I lent him eight dollars, and haven't gotten it back! >"I love him!" she exclaimed softly. JOEL: "Exclaimed softly?" > It was the first time that she had said >it out loud, and she had hoped that the first time would be with Chip. TOM: Oh. Uh.... CROW: My goodness! JOEL: Well, that's unusually explicit for a non-lemon Rescue Ranger fanfic. > She >fell into Monty's arms again and hid her blushing face. CROW: But any port in a storm, I guess. TOM: Man, she's fickle. >"Now, Gadget, why haven't you told him?" JOEL: Guys, we misread that line -- she was talking about the first time she said she loved Chip out loud, not her first time. TOM: Oh. CROW: Well, that's disappointing. >Gadget smiled; trust Monterey to be logical. [Explosive titters] TOM: Yeah. Right. The mouse who wanted to beat up a human for littering. > "Well, I wasn't really for sure JOEL: "Really for sure?" >until a little while ago. And now, he's hurt, and I didn't want him to get >real excited with his injuries, and- " CROW: Well, how excited can you get with serious injuries? >"Shhh." Monty hushed her. "Why don't we ask Dr. O'Connor if we can see him? >You can tell him now. I'm sure it'll help his recovery." JOEL: Why should she tell Doctor O'Connor that she loves Chip? TOM: And what is Doctor O'Connor recovering from? >"But Monty- " CROW: [Gadget] Revealing my love for him might strengthen his resolve to live? I would never have thought of that! >"Don't be gettin' shy on us now, luv." TOM: [Monty] You signed to do the swimsuit special, you already spent the advance check. > The big Aussie gently helped her off >of the bed and led her out of the room. He smiled at the exhausted doctor. >"Hey, doc, can we see me little palley?" > >The doctor looked up. "I don't see why not. Just don't try to wake him up; CROW: [Monty] Well, I guess if Gadget can't tell Chip she loves him, there's no point -- back to your room, love. >number one, it probably won't work since he's heavily sedated. Number two, he >needs his rest. TOM: [Dr. Conner] Eternal rest. > I take it he hasn't been sleeping very well?" > >Gadget nodded. "I've been staying with him at night, and the pain keeps him >awake. TOM: [Gadget] Maybe I shouldn't sit on him. > He never told us how bad it was, though." She shivered. "I think it >was torture." ALL: TO-CHA!! >Dr. O'Connor nodded in agreement. "He's a strong one, he is. With that kind >of burn- " TOM: If it's a really severe burn, there wouldn't be any pain because the nerves would be damaged. > He shook his head. "Why don't you follow me. I need to check up on >him right now anyway." Gadget slowly followed him into the small room. She >was a little scared when she saw how pale and fragile he looked. JOEL: I'm guessing the first "he" is the doctor and the second is Chip. > She steeled >her confidence as she neared him. If he was to wake up TOM: Statement contrary to fact throws it into the genitive case. If he _were_ to wake up. JOEL: Pretty obscure. CROW: "Pelagic." > and see her looking >frightened, he would think the worst and there was no reason to terrify him. >She watched the doctor give Chip a once over and then start thoroughly >examining the suture. CROW: It was the occipital suture, though, so she was somewhat distraught as Chip's skin was ripped free from his head. > Gadget was impressed at the expert job that the doctor >and his three nurses had performed. TOM: Okay, now we know there are three nurses. A little late in the story, but it's nice to see this sort of attention to detail. CROW: I like the nurses. They have all the best lines. > It seemed a miracle, really. The doctor's >words jolted her from her reverie. "He seems to be doing well. That's a good >sign." JOEL: Yes, I suppose doing well would be a good sign, wouldn't it? > He pointed to one of the machines that monitored Chip's heartbeat. >"He's going good and steady. Wonderful." TOM: [Dr. O'Connor] Oh, wait -- that's my stock portfolio. > He patted Gadget on the shoulder. >"You have a very brave friend." CROW: [Dr. O'Connor] I can tell this, because his heart beats while he's unconscious. >She smiled softly. "Yes, yes I do." JOEL: [Gadget] It's not Chip, of course, but- > The doctor left them both. TOM: He only wanted to leave one of them, but since they were in the same room, leaving them both seemed easier. > Gadget pulled >up a small chair that was the room's only other piece of furniture besides >the bed. She stared at Chip for a long time before she TOM: Beat Chip with the chair. > said anything. "Uhhh, >Chip, I don't really know what to say." She paused again and watched his >heartbeat for a few minutes. "Well, I'm going to keep being honest with you. CROW: [Gadget] I really, really don't know what to say. >I, um, have some very serious feelings about you." TOM: [Gadget] Hatred, loathing, contempt-- the list goes on and on! > She stopped. "No, that's >not quite right. Let me try again. Well, I really like you. No, that's still >not it. Hmmm- " > >"I love you." JOEL: [Gadget] No, no, that's not it. >"Yes! That's it- " She broke off, staring at Chip's opened eyes. "Chip! >You're awake!" > >He smiled faintly. CROW: [Chip] No, I'm not. > "Yup." He made an unpleasant face. "I kinda wish I >weren't, though." JOEL: [Chip] No offense, but seeing your face makes me want to hurl. >Gadget's expression turned to one of sympathy. "Is there anything I can get >you?" TOM: [Chip] A blindfold? >Chip grinned drowsily. "Well, I could say that you were all I need, but CROW: [Chip] I would be lying. >perhaps you'd better go and get the doctor." TOM: [Chip] To fix your face. Now what was that you said about loving me? >"Huh? Oh, right." She leapt up and ran into the other room. "Hey, everyone! >Chip's awake!" JOEL: Excuse me, but didn't Chip send her to get the doctor? CROW: What do you mean? JOEL: Well, shouldn't she say something like, "Doctor, Chip is asking for you?" TOM: That would be conventional approach, yes. >"So soon?" The doctor was the first one in the small room. TOM: Usually his patients never woke up. > He began examining >Chip. > > "Well, it looks like I've done my job. You're looking a lot better than >you were before." CROW: [Dr. O'Connor] What with that large hole in you. >"I don't feel better than I did before." TOM: [Dr. O'Connor] Excuse me, but who is the doctor here? >The doctor smiled. "It's because we had to remove a lot of infection from >inside of your chest." Dale looked as if he were going to faint. "That was >why you had such a high fever. Also, we had to stitch up part of your lung. >That's why you couldn't breathe." TOM: Hmm. How exactly does electrocution poke a hole in the lung? >Chip nodded slowly with understanding. "So, am I going to be o-k?" CROW: [Dr. O'Connor] Uh... sure! (giggles nervously) >Dr. O'Connor nodded. "I think so- with a lot of rest, of course. I don't want >you to be moving around very much. And no more adventures for a while. JOEL: [Dr. O'Connor] Except for the kind where you don't have to move. > Let >the police do their job." The doctor smiled. Well, I guess I'm done for now. CROW: That was short. [TOM and CROW start to leave.] JOEL: Guys? That's the doctor talking. It's not the author. TOM: Oh. >I'll be checking up on you in a few days, so don't try anything foolish; you >need some time to heal. If you start having any problems, be sure to call me. >Other than that, your life can start to get back to normal." CROW: [Dr. O'Connor] Except you can't have any children. Nurse Bihn insisted. > He turned to go. >"I'll be coming some time on Thursday, so be expecting me." TOM: [Dr. O'Connor] Bake a cake. > He left to gather >his nurses and to go home to his wife. CROW: With the nurses? TOM: They assist him with everything, I guess. >"Well, guys, looks like you're going to have to wait on me some more." Dale >snorted. CROW: Uh...why should they wait on you, Dale? > "Yeah, right. Don't expect me to go running every time you want a >glass of water!" TOM: [Dale] It's not like we're life-long friends, you know. >Chip pretended to look hurt, but it soon turned into a look of pain. JOEL: So it must have been very convincing. > "Chip!" >exclaimed Dale. "Are you alright?" CROW: [Dale] Okay, I'll get you water... >Chip smiled weakly. "I'll be fine. Hey, what happened to you not being at my >beckon call?" JOEL: "Beckon call?" >Dale blushed at Chip calling his bluff, even if it wasn't intentional. "Well, >maybe for a little while. I guess you'd do the same for me." Zipper flew over >to Chip and hugged him gently around the neck. > >"Thanks, Zip," he said fondly. He then looked meaningfully at Gadget, who >blushed and smiled back. TOM: [Chip] Your turn. >Monterey caught this look and accordingly did his part. TOM: He hugged Chip around the neck. > "Come on, Dale and >Zip. Let's go make our mate some cream of- " his mustache frizzed with a >slight cheese attack, "cheee--eee--eeese soup." He led the small crew away >from Chip and Gadget. > >Gadget sat down in the chair again. She put her hand in his. He squeezed it >in an answer to her silent question. JOEL: Which was...? >She looked down. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was just so afraid- " TOM: [Gadget] You would object to being gelded. >Chip rubbed her hand gently. "Don't worry about it, Gadget. You've told me >all I need to know." CROW: [Chip] Except what the deal is with Caprice. > He kissed her hand. She leaned over and kissed him on >the lips. He sighed as she pulled away. TOM: [Gadget] Yuck. Hospital breath. > She blushed. > >"You need your rest, Chip." > >"I know. Can you just . . . TOM: [Chip] Give me a sponge bath while wearing high heels? > stay here with me for a while?" > >She smiled sweetly.__"Of course. Until you fall asleep." CROW: [Gadget] Then I will dump you for someone healthy and strong. > She leaned closer to >him. "And the sooner you get better, the sooner we can- " She blushed again. TOM: Make a reservation at the Fanta-Suites. >He smiled and nodded, still weak. Suddenly, his eyes glazed over with pain. >"Chip? Are you alright?" Gadget's voice shook with alarm. He nodded. "Just >stay here with me." CROW: But...Chip can't leave anyway, right? So why is Gadget telling him to stay with her? JOEL: I think that was Chip asking Gadget to stay with him. TOM: It's traditional to start a new paragraph when someone new starts talking, isn't it? > She took his hands in hers and rubbed them. His eyes >closed and he began to drift to sleep. > >"I love you," he whispered drowsily. He fell asleep almost immediately; JOEL: The total lack of conflict or action would do that. > the >anesthesia was still heavily in his system. TOM: I like Joel's theory better. CROW: Zzzzrrk -- *Huh*? Did something happen? JOEL: No. >"I love you, too," she murmured in his ear. She wasn't sure if he heard her, >but his mouth seemed to turn up in a smile. CROW: Must be dreaming of Melody. > Gadget felt as if someone was >watching her. She looked up, surprised to see Monterey Jack in the doorway. >"How long have you been standing there?" TOM: Monterey immediately started mocking her by saying "I love you, too" in a falsetto voice while batting his eyelids. >"Not too long," he whispered. "We've got you both some soup ready. Is he >asleep?" > >Gadget nodded. "I don't want to leave him." TOM: [Monty] Mind if I eat yours, then? >Monty disappeared for a moment and returned with a steaming bowl of cheese. >He tried to hold it away from his large nose so that he wouldn't be tempted >to devour Gadget's soup. He quickly handed it to her. She pulled her hands >away from Chip's long enough to eat the thick soup. JOEL: [Gadget] Hmm...food or boyfriend? Food or boyfriend? TOM: If she were Victoria, it'd be both. > She handed Monterey back >the bowl. "Thanks, Monty." > >He gave her a quick smile and went back to the kitchen. Gadget eventually >fell asleep in the chair, not caring about how her sleep habits had been >interrupted. TOM: Wait, let me reread that last paragraph. I know there's something touching there, but I can't quite make it out. >Gadget awoke some hours later to bright sunlight coming in the window. She >checked the small clock on the wall. It was eleven o'clock in the morning. >She stretched, feeling her muscles catch in her back. Sleeping in the >uncomfortable chair had done nothing for her. She felt as if she hadn't slept >at all. She remembered where she was and made sure that Chip was all right. >He seemed to be fine; some of his color had returned during her nap. She >gently felt his forehead; no fever. She sighed in relief. JOEL: Once again, an actual event had been avoided. > Dale came in the >room just then. > >"You want me to take over? Gosh, you look terrible!" TOM: [Dale] They drew you with those lines on your face that make you look middle-aged, and they colored your nose black again. CROW: Must be issue seven.... >"Thanks a lot, Dale." > >"Sorry. Monterey just thought that you might want to sleep in your bed for a >while." Dale got that jealous look on his face, and she knew not to question >him. CROW: So Dale gets jealous when Gadget sleeps in her bed? JOEL: Evidently. > Gadget got up and yawned. JOEL: Because she was also reading the fanfic. >"That sounds like a good idea. Come and get me if there's any changes." TOM: [Dale] Oh Gadget -- the time changed. And the shadows moved a little. And the paint is drier... > Dale >nodded and sat down in the chair. His face became very somber as he looked at >his friend. Gadget felt pity rise up in her. Dale loved Chip as a brother, >and that bond she could not break. CROW: Said Abel to Cain. > She yawned again, and giving them a final >look, went off to take a shower and to go to bed. > >Two days later, around supper time, TOM: Gadget finally woke up. > Monterey Jack stirred the mixture for his >cheese flapjacks thoughtfully. Chip seemed to be getting better by the day, >and Gadget had made a willing nurse. She had been by his side for hours on >end, reluctant to leave him as she changed his bandage and bathed his >forehead. JOEL: I remember I had a nurse leave while she was changing my bandage. Lost about a quart of blood. > He had been asleep for a good part of the day, but a slight fever >had taken him. The doctor told them that it was nothing to worry about, but >if it went too high to call him immediately. TOM: [Dr. O'Connor] Don't worry about it, but monitor the situation and call me immediately if it gets any worse. JOEL: Doc O'Connor does seem to give mixed messages, doesn't he? > Monterey poured the mixture out >on the griddle. Dale wandered into the kitchen. "Hey, Monty! Something smells >awfully good!" Monty smiled. "Of course it does, Dale! It's me cheese >flapjacks!" He flipped one high in the air. "Do you think that Chip will want >one?" His mustache twisted as the flapjacks began steaming. JOEL: Wow -- even Monty's mustache gets into the action in this fanfic! >"I don't know; I'll go check." Dale went to the room where Chip was. Gadget >was sitting next to him, a wet rag in her hand. "Hey, is Chip better?" CROW: [Gadget] Than who? >Gadget shrugged. "I can't really tell; he's been asleep since late this >morning. Do you think that we should wake him up?" She looked doubtfully at >Chip's sleeping form. JOEL: [Gadget] It's time for his sleeping pill. >"I don't know. Should we call the doctor?" > >"I don't think so. Dr. O'Connor would have told us if we shouldn't wake him." TOM: Actually, based on past experience, he'd say something like don't worry if he falls into a deep sleep, but if it gets too deep, call my pager, answering service, home number, work number, email me, and set off a distress flare, because Chip'll probably die. >She finally leaned over and touched his shoulder. "Chip?" Only a moan was >heard in response. "Chip, are you awake?" Another moan, then a coughing fit. >"Golly, that doesn't sound good." She got up and went to the door. "Monty? >Can you call the doctor?" > >"Sure, luv," came his reply. TOM: [Gadget] Monty, I don't hear the phone. CROW: [Monty] Oh, did you want me to actually call him? You just asked if I *could* call him-- > "Just a minute." CROW: [Monty, grumbling] Razzafrazzin think I'm a secretary cook all day... > After about five minutes, Monty >called to her. "He wants to talk to you." CROW: Wait. If they have a phone, then why did they have to run around to find a doctor? TOM: Don't think. The author didn't. >Gadget went to the tiny phone. "Yes, doctor. He's really unresponsive. His >fever hasn't gone down, but its not worse." She listened for a moment. JOEL: [Dr. O'Connor] Oh, then he's probably asleep. >"Alright, thank you Dr. O'Connor." She hung up the phone. "The doctor is on >his way. He said he can't tell what's wrong unless he examines Chip. He said >that he doesn't think that it's anything serious, but he wants to check it >out." TOM: [Gadget] Because Chip is probably about to die. >About thirty minutes later, the doctor arrived. After a thorough examination >of Chip, he met with the others. "I think that Chip may be having a delayed >allergic reaction to some chemical that we may have used during surgery. JOEL: [Dr. O'Connor] I'm not sure which chemical -- we just threw a bunch in and hoped for the best. > It's >very serious, and I may have to take him to the hospital. Is there a way we >can get him there?" JOEL: So they have a mobile operating theater but no ambulances? >"We can take the Ranger plane," volunteered Gadget. "Dale, you go with the >doctor. Monty, you need to help me get Chip into the plane, and we'll meet >you guys there." CROW: [Monty] Meet him where? In part one, we didn't even have a primary care physician, but now we know which hospital this doctor's associated with? > She busied herself getting Chip ready to travel. JOEL: While the doctor ate corn chips and watched "ER" with Dale. TOM: [Dale] So how real is this show? CROW: [Dr. O'Connor] Not very; my patients die a lot more often. > As she >touched him, she realized that his fever had risen. Worry struck her heart. >She wrapped soft bandages around his burn and sponged his forehead one last >time TOM: [Gadget] Who am I kidding -- that stain isn't coming out. > before Monterey picked him up and whisked him to the Ranger plane. >Gadget made a temporary kind of bed out of the back seat with pillows and >blankets. She wiped tears away from her cheeks as she jumped into the pilot's >seat. JOEL: Yeah, she's in good shape to fly. > Monty settled in beside her and Zipper made a place for himself at >Chip's feet. Gadget took off and flew hard and fast to the hospital. She >followed the directions that Dr. O'Connor had given her and landed close to a >small door next to the heating unit. JOEL: Oh, wait. I think that was the action scene. CROW: What? Where? > Monterey gently lifted Chip out of the >back of the plane and followed Gadget into the ventilation. Dr. O'Connor and >Dale were just arriving; he had called ahead and a room was already prepared >for Chip. Gadget was amazed at the efficiency of the tiny clinic. Chip was >quickly taken away from Monterey and swept into the hospital bed that was >awaiting his arrival. The doctor called out instructions and the nurses >leaped to do his bidding. TOM: [kids from Monster.com commercial] Yes sir! Coming sir! Anything for a raise, sir! JOEL: You can tell a lot of research went into this. > Gadget and the others stared at the activity of the >place. There were doctors everywhere with their own agendas, their own >patients, hurrying out of the way of others. JOEL: And they were doing this in Chip's room? > They watched as Dr. O'Connor >gave Chip a shot and placed an oxygen mask over his face. He turned to them. TOM: Whirrrr-click! >"That's all we can do. The shot I gave him will hopefully counteract the >chemical reaction that he's having and bring the fever down. I'm giving him >oxygen because he seems to be having some trouble breathing." JOEL: [Dr. O'Connor] Maybe stitching his lung shut wasn't a good idea. > He turned to >Gadget. "Did you hit any unusual air pockets or any hard gusts of wind on >your way here?" JOEL: [Dr. O'Connor] Oh, did I forget to tell you to stay in the thick air below two thousand feet and to avoid flying hard and fast because a violent maneuver might kill Chip? Sorry. >Gadget thought for a minute. "Well, I'm not sure. I may have, but I was in >such a hurry that I didn't even think about it. Why?" > >"Because it may have knocked some of his stitches loose. Like I said, he's >having trouble breathing. I don't know if it's because of the allergic >reaction or if the stitches are giving him problems." TOM: I'm no lawyer or doctor, but I kinda smell a big malpractice suit. >The group was silent as Dr. O'Connor hurried away to check on another >patient. Monty spoke first. > >"Well, mates, I guess we just have to watch and wait . . ." JOEL: At least you've been getting plenty of practice. >"And pray," said Gadget, quietly. Dale just nodded. JOEL: So they prayed for the fanfic to end. TOM: Joel, when this story ends, how will we know? > Zipper squeaked something >to them. Monty translated. > >"Zipper's found us some chairs. Let's go rest our bones." They followed >Zipper and sat down. Surprisingly, the chairs were fairly comfortable. Gadget >sat down with a sigh, tears welling up in her eyes. CROW: So she sits down twice. > Monterey put his arm >around her. "It'll be alright, Gadget luv. The doctor will fix our little >paley." TOM: [Gadget] No, he did that during the operation. >Gadget just sighed and shook her head. CROW: She's beginning to have her doubts about Doctor O'Connor. > Zipper handed her a tissue and she >blew her nose. Dale stared out into space. "Guys, you think that Chip will be >o-k, don't you?" CROW: [Dale] And if he isn't can I have his pogo stick? >Gadget finally gained her composure. "Of course he will! Chip is too strong >and stubborn to let us down. He'll pull through with style." Monty hugged >her. "That's me girl," he said. CROW: [Monty] Delusional, but spirited. > They sat and watched the bustle in the >hospital for a few moments in silence. "Well, should we go home and leave >Chipper here, or should we stay?" JOEL: Who said that? TOM: This is where you really see the benefit of new paragraphs when a new character starts talking. >"Stay," said Dale and Gadget in unison. Their voices were strained, tense. >Monterey knew better than to argue with them, so he settled in for a long >wait. JOEL: Cursing their concern like the pig-selfish troll he was. >Forty-five minutes later, the doctor came to see them. "Well, Chip's fever is >down, but he's still a little warm. I'm going to keep him overnight for >observations, so you may want to go home for a little while. There's nothing >more that you can do. You might as well get your rest." CROW: [Monty] Roight. Toodles. >The group looked at each other. "Well?" said Gadget. "Should one of us stay >here? Or should we all leave?" "Put like that, one of us should stay here. In >case he wakes up, or something." said Dale. He looked worriedly at the room >where Chip was staying. "I don't really want to leave." JOEL: [Dale] Not with Gadget flying, anyway. >Gadget didn't quite know what to do. Part of her wanted to stay with Chip, >but part of her knew that she had to get some rest or she could end up >getting sick. JOEL: Because sleeping on a chair was out of the question. > Also, Dale looked so pitiful that she was considering leaving >him on call while she got some sleep. Monterey Jack made up her mind. CROW: Which was happening more and more often lately, much to her annoyance. >"Dale, you can stay here. If he wakes up, fill him in on the situation. TOM: What situation? You've been sitting around helplessly while Chip struggles for his life! >Gadget needs some sleep, and you've taken a nap more recently. We'll be back >in the morning." Dale nodded and sat back down in one of the chairs. Gadget >led the way out to the plane. Zipper yawned. Monty stretched as Gadget warmed >up the plane. TOM: Yeah, she's in great shape to fly. >"Golly. I hope that Chip'll be alright." Gadget dejectedly lifted off. > >"Don't worry, Gadget luv. Just keep believing what you said earlier. He'll >pull through; Chip wouldn't dare let us down. He just wouldn't." CROW: Sure he would. > Monterey >smiled. "Especially since you told him the truth the other day." > >Gadget blushed. "Well . . . I don't know. I mean, I know that I love him. I >know that he loves me. CROW: [Monty] No he doesn't. > I just hope that we'll have some time to ourselves >when he recovers. And I'm afraid of hurting Dale's feelings. All this has >really been bothering me since I told him. And now Dale's really sensitive >about Chip, and I don't want him to think that Chip getting injured is what >made me like Chip much more than him. How do you think that he'll react?" TOM: Maybe by killing himself when you next leave him alone? >Monty didn't look directly at Gadget. TOM: Trying to find the stars again. > "I can't really say. I want to tell you >that he won't mind and that he'll be happy for you two. However, I think me >little mate will take it harder than that. I don't think that he'll hate you >two, or anything like that, but I do think that he'll be a little out of it >for a while. CROW: So how will you be able to tell the difference? > He'll get over it eventually, but it'll take some time." >Monterey paused for a moment, looking out over the city scape below. "He'll >understand in his heart, but he's more sensitive than he puts on." Monterey >Jack turned to look at the troubled Gadget and put a comforting hand on her >shoulder. "However, I do think that you've made a wise choice." CROW: [Monty] Dale sucks. >Gadget took her eyes off her flying for a moment to smile gratefully at >Monty. "Thank you Monty. I appreciate that. Do you know how long I've had >feelings for him?" JOEL: Nothing more than feelings? >Monterey smiled. "I've had a feeling, but I never said anything." TOM: [Gadget] That's nice. But do you know how long I've had feelings for him? JOEL: Monterey had a feeling about Gadget's feelings? CROW: Metafeelings! TOM: I never metafeeling I didn't like. [TOM laughs, and segues into heart-rending sobs.] >"Well, I didn't know it for a long time. I think that I first knew that I >loved him when we had that big case against Rat Capone last time. You know, >when he was selling all that counterfeit cheese?" TOM: [Gadget] Something about being pawed by a rat I despise made me realize Chip really isn't that bad. >Monterey Jack made a face. "I remember. I can't believe anyone bought that >junk! It didn't even look real." > >"Aw, Monty, you're just sore 'cause you got taken in, too. And if you hadn't, >then we may have never found out. TOM: Y'know, if they're going to recap an episode, I'd personally rather hear about the case with Bubbles where Chip got electrocuted. > Anyway, that was the time. When Chip >rescued me from Rat Capone, I knew that something was different about how I >felt about him. And then, when he teased me about me having 'spunk,' I didn't >even get a little bit mad. Of course, when Dale caught on and started doing >it, it got really old. Well, was that when you thought?" JOEL: It's so rare that Monty thinks, they can actually keep track of the times. >"I figured it out when Fat Cat stole the Ranger plane that one time. Blimey! >That was a case." JOEL: Why did Fat Cat steal the Ranger Plane? How was he going to fit in it? TOM: Hey, this is like one of those TV episodes where the whole thing is just clips from other episodes! >"I know. I almost got killed!" > >"Yeah, but Chip stopped that from happening." TOM: Good. That would explain why Gadget isn't dead. >Gadget smiled at the memory. Fat Cat had bound her with chains and was about >to drop her in a tank of water when Chip and the others burst in. CROW: Surely, a memory that would make anyone smile. > Chip had >been the one that had swung by and caught her up. The chains were too heavy >for him to lift, of course, but the momentum of his swing had carried them >both to the top of a cabinet. She shivered at the feeling of his strong arms >around her. TOM: I'm getting "Dark Savior" flashbacks. > She shook her head to clear it; they were nearing the tree. She >glanced over at Monterey. He was nearly asleep. Zipper was dozing in his lap. >Gadget landed the Ranger plane gently on the branch. They pulled themselves >out of the plane and slowly walked in. > >"It's been quite a day, huh Monty?" CROW: [Monty] Yeah, we must do this again. >"Too right, Gadget. I'll see you in the morning." > >Gadget yawned as she walked to the bathroom. She pulled the shower curtain >and began running water. Time for a long, hot shower. TOM: I second that. Let's go, guys. [1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... 6 ... G] [TOM and CROW on the bridge. They have obviously just showered, and are wearing bathrobes.] TOM: So who are your favorite characters in this story? CROW: Well, I'd have to say the nurses. TOM: Huh? [JOEL enters, carrying a clipboard.] JOEL: Okay, gang, I think I've figured out the Mads' game plan this time around. TOM: Share it with us, Joel. JOEL: I think they're launching an all out attack on our ability to tell good from bad. CROW: I think they found another bad story and sent it to us. TOM: I'm backing Crow on this. JOEL: No, no, hear me out. Usually, he sends unreadable, illiterate juvenilia, thus giving us the impression that "bad" is a lack of basic composition skills. TOM: But what about "Under the Bridge?" That was bad, but it was technically okay. CROW: Tom, please don't mention "technical" and "Under the Bridge" at the same time again. JOEL: Right, exactly. "Under the Bridge" had good spelling, reasonable prose, and only one serious vocabulary glitch. CROW: Oh yeah -- "pelagic." [They laugh at the sentimental memory of "pelagic."] JOEL: Yet nevertheless, the story was like a long crawl over broken glass; a celebration of pain, betrayal, and damnation. TOM: And submarines. CROW: And aircraft. JOEL: Leaving us with the impression that "bad" could incorporate both poor composition skills and a disturbingly detached and soulless interpretation of a Disney cartoon. TOM: Okay. Then they send "Dark Savior." [CROW spits.] CROW: I can still taste that one. JOEL: Again, exactly. "Dark Savior" had spirit, and action. Nobody could call it dry and technical. It's driven entirely by passion; love, adventure-- TOM: Sadism-- CROW: He's got a point, Tom. "Dark Savior" certainly wasn't left-brain. TOM: Or right-brain. "Dark Savior" didn't have a single firing synapse. It couldn't even remain consistent with itself. We've got a crime fighter refusing to marry Gadget because he's afraid criminals will try to kill or capture his wife, even though Gadget's already a crime fighter, so she marries Chip, who is also a crime fighter. We've got -- JOEL: Tom, we know. So now "bad" encompasses a technical inability to write, a lifeless research paper with talking mice, and rollicking adventures with no coherence and lots and lots of over-the-top action. CROW: Okay, I follow. Then they send "Caretaker--" TOM: You know, I just realized there's no interpersonal conflict in this story at all. Everyone wants Chip to live. The only thing that actually happens is Chip's operation. The rest of it is sitting around by his sickbed and twiddling thumbs. The only character who actually does something is Dr. "It's not serious unless it is" O'Connor. CROW: You forgot where they made sure the stars were still there. TOM: Reading this story is like being stuck in a bad role-playing game where everyone's waiting for a non-player character to make a skill roll which will decide how the adventure ends. And it just goes on and on, and you're waiting for the game master to roll, and he just fingers the dice and holds them and then he puts them back down... JOEL: A perfect analogy. So these three stories, "Under the Bridge," "Dark Savior", and "Caretaker," are really quite different. Apart from the fact they avoid serious grammar and spelling errors, and that they have the same main cast, what do they have in common? T&C: They bite. JOEL: Exactly. What else? TOM: Uhm... CROW: I can't think of anything. TOM: Your point? JOEL: My point is that the Mads have selected stories which flaws that are not merely different, but are contradictory. Gradually, our definition of "bad" will come to encompass all possible stories, and we'll be completely unable to like anything. TOM: Our worlds will turn into a twisted kernel of hate and sarcasm? CROW: And...? [Pause] JOEL: And what? TOM: Joel, we've been there for years. CROW: Sure. Aren't you? [Commercial sign starts flashing.] JOEL: [to CAMBOT] We'll be right back. [Off Screen] Gypsy? Do you still know the number for the Negativism Hotline?